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Marriage isn't a guarantee of life long love
Why are you still with him?
That’s exactly what I’m doing
Reddit is always going to be more gamer friendly than most populations and like…idk man, I’m in a pretty similar life stage/situation to this guy and I could not imagine PC gaming at this stage in my life. I have a Switch I’ll fuck around with maybe after wife’s asleep but I’m pretty exhausted by that point.
Save yourself the future pain and get a divorce, if I were a gambler, I'd bet on it turning physical in the near future.
Internet mom here. I just came to validate your feelings. You are absolutely right in what you are saying. You’re already planning to go to therapy and that would have been my suggestion. You will find an advocate in any good therapist. It’s going to be okay. Get to therapy. I really do just want to validate everything you have said.
Block his ass. Do not have any contact with him.
god I hope you made this up
Your wife had a multi year affair that's lasted longer then some marriages. As far as you know, she could have been having it up until you confronted her. This wasn't some one off “mistake”. It was a series of choices, and decisions that led to this. I'd call him her side piece or boyfriend, but calling him her second husband would fit better.
He was your literal neighbor, he's likely been in your home longer then you. And he obviously knew the kids were his own, so your wife willingly committed paternity fraud. So no, I wouldn't forgive, or stay married.
Your pastors full of it. Preaching forgiveness is terrible advice. Forgiveness isn't forced or owed. And neither your wife or neighbor deserve it. What work have they done to atone? Is giving some half-ass apology enough to warrant it? What utter nonsense. He's just covering up for his nephew, and not wanting to cause a scandal in the church. After all, if it happened with you, who's to say something similar hasn't happened with someone else?
Personally I'd divorce. If your stupid enough to reconcile, you'll need to move. Going no contact with the affair partner is the least she could do. If the POS wants to see the kids, he'll need to take it up with the court and pay back child support. Whatever you do, expose the affair to mutual friends and family, and the church. You need support, she needs condemnation, and the POS and pastor deserve what's coming.