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“I wasn’t used to having responsibility, so I really didn’t put in any effort.”
This is the crux of it. And why he’s done.
I’m truly sorry for whatever happened to you a few years ago.
But your husband has been carrying the load ever since – in EVERY aspect. I think a lot of us in here can relate to depression and PTSD. And I may get downvoted for this, but I’m going to call you out. I think you know got comfortable being 100% lazy and without responsibility and used the traumatic event as an excuse to not have to be a fully (or even half) functioning human. You knew your husband would maintain everything.
You can’t completely check out for 3 years and think he’s not going to break. He asked a few very small things of you and you admittedly were lazy and didn’t care to do it. That isn’t about trauma. That is about a complete lack of respect and appreciation for the partner who has cared for you hand and foot for the last 3 years.
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If your bf told you the same story, but the girl is the one spooning him and they're holding hand to keep warm in bed, would you think it's cheating?
Then tell them that you're going to break up with him so he will need their support and then block every single one of them.
So… you’re basically pressuring her into a sexual situation she is uncomfortable with. Do we REALLY need to spell out why this is a bad thing to do, anxiety or not??
Yes, some people say they were able to work through it but it has permanently altered your relationship and not for the better.
Don't ask us. Ask her.
So what this is, is that she doesn't want to break up bc she's using you. She just wants to be able to bitch about you and continue using you. Don't give her that choice.
Discuss this with your fiancé.
Sorry for both of you, It won't get better, and yep sexual compatibility is important. So before doing something stupid like cheating or saying something hurtful to her, the best is just to leave.
Should clarify, 3 of the blokes were out. The other three were back at the property. There were 4 girls, one of which I wouldn’t mess with. I raised my concerns with her safety multiple times.