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Thank you for your comment. Yes it has crossed my mind that this may be a form of postpartum depression. I know of it but not much about it. She was pretty happy most of the time and like I said, I felt we were doing fine. Although she did get a bit more emotional and teary-eyed than usual around 6-10 in the evening when we watched TV. She said she missed our simple life before the baby when it was just us and the cat. I don't want to jump to conclusions though. Maybe I should call her. Tbh I was putting it off until I felt we were on the same page. Like I said, I think she will come home, it's just a question of when. I notice your tag says “60+ Male.” I appreciate the advice from someone with life experience. Do you have any advice on how to move past this if (when) she does come home?
Depends. I’m not a therapist.
I was in your position when I was 15. I was also the first daughter and helped raise my siblings. My mother was also toxic and abandoning the needs of her own children while being charitable with her extended family. She also told me that I didn’t deserve anything even though I never went out and focused solely on my grades. Looking back now, I wish I had run away at 16 and avoided a lifetime of misery. I’m still working on fixing all the damage my parents did. It took therapy for me to realize my parents were abusive and taking advantage of me. My advice to you is to take advantage of college since your parents are paying but focus on yourself. Use the distance that college can give you from your parents to find out what your identity is and what makes you happy in life. Form relationships that will show you what healthy connections are. Start trying to move on because your family is likely never going to change and you will waste your life waiting like I did.
Make peace that your mother is a flawed human being. You can empathize with her trauma but do not allow her trauma to destroy your chances at a happy life.
I mean I don’t know if I want to anymore after this ultimatum….
I already told him
You shouldnt have to do things you dont want to period. He probably just wants to spend time with you doing something he likes but if u dont feel comfortable doing that that is okay and he should understand and accept that.
How did you drive away from the house, and that was not the absolute first thing out of your mouth?
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Yeah- if I had to guess, I would guess the AP threatened to expose her and she's trying to spin the narrative and downplay how involved they were before he does. Or, someone saw them together recently and she's trying to trickle truth him before it came out.
The way she was questioning him, you don't need to outright accuse someone of something to make it known that's what you're doing. Her entire tone of her post is that she was looking for something ever since they started working out together
Exactly. He sounds like a deadbeat. OP should think twice about sticking with this loser. Once a kid is involved (pending positive paternity test of course) you no longer have a choice. You don’t need to be involved with the mom, but that kid is your responsibility and abandoning it is a sign of a piece of shit.
we had a fight, a small verbal disagreement, that lead to her leaving the house, with her dogs, saying she “didn't trust me anymore” where she then had blocked me and broke up with me.
What specifically happened during this fight/disagreement? What was said and done?
The relationship is over…. She just hasn’t told you yet.
So do it for her. Tell her that her attitude, behaviour and actions has shown you that she no longer loves, cares or respects you (if she ever actually did) and that you deserve better. Tell her that the relationship is over.