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She had it coming. Boyfriend doesn't like to be taken advantage of. I don't know if it's a red flag or not, but I salute his enterprise.
Good. You and Jake both sound whiny, gossipy, and pathetic. You deserve each other, and your gf deserves better than both of you.
You very much implied that he is not emotionally invested as he claims if he feels something is important for him.
A lot of people who largely identify as Ace might also be described as demi, so that sex under the right circumstances and with the right emotional context can be desired and enjoyable. It doesn't sound like she is giving in or having sex when she doesn't want to as you're implying – seems like the main sacrifice she is making is to try to allow him the alternative release he described as not enjoying himself anyway because he knows she's not really into it.
Regardless, it seems for her, the current arrangement satisfies her, but it does not satisfy him, and he is entitled to feel that way without someone acting like it's a sign of his lack of devotion