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….ok….and you used the word “over-protective” at least three times
in your post. I assume you know the actual meaning of the word, but I
wonder if you appreciate some of the implications for your acquaintance?
Commonly, what you're labelling as “over-protective” parents can be
characteristicly Intrusive, Judgemental and Punitive. If this is even
remotely possible, I can safely guarentee that your partner in no way,
shape or form wants to have that can of worms opened. In situations
such as this, what is simply read as “shyness” or “introvert” is simply
a person struggling to “stay under the radar” knowing what awaits
if the “secret” gets out.
Your communication to your partner needs heavy overtones of safety,
respect and confidentiality to help her with her angst. Just sayin……
….ok….and you used the word “over-protective” at least three times
in your post. I assume you know the actual meaning of the word, but I
wonder if you appreciate some of the implications for your acquaintance?
Commonly, what you're labelling as “over-protective” parents can be
characteristicly Intrusive, Judgemental and Punitive. If this is even
remotely possible, I can safely guarentee that your partner in no way,
shape or form wants to have that can of worms opened. In situations
such as this, what is simply read as “shyness” or “introvert” is simply
a person struggling to “stay under the radar” knowing what awaits
if the “secret” gets out.
Your communication to your partner needs heavy overtones of safety,
respect and confidentiality to help her with her angst. Just sayin……
Regardless it’s her decision. Pretending to know better than her is lacking respect as well.
To get away from FIL because husband refuses to make him leave
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Any update?
She was, even if she wasn't, she's an adult and not a priority. Not his responsibility to pay for a grown ass woman.
Because you think that marriage to him will be forbidden, you should tell him sooner than later. He may choose to break up now rather than spend more time together knowing you will eventually be forced apart.
In my personal experience as an adult with BPD1, it makes me think that she may be dealing with the same illness. You did not betray her. You were protecting her. My behaviors were nearly identical to hers and ultimately led to disaster because my (now ex) just couldn't make herself deal with it anymore. I was diagnosed and prescribed medication. The symptoms have improved substantially but never completely. I sincerely hope she eventually agrees to professional diagnosis and medication. I equally hope you have the patience to ride it out.
Is she complaining? Was she unaware of your financial state before marrying?