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The amount of colloquial expressions in this post – I’m impressed!
First of all, I don't understand what your examples have to do with OP's situation. Denying your partner access to confidential documents has nothing to do with hiding a relationship with another man that can only be described as at least emotional affair, even if this affair has started to fizzle out recently.
Your right to any form of personal freedom depends solely on what you use that freedom for. Your rights have been given to you conditionally. And in marriage your right to privacy ends the moment you use your privacy to cheat on your partner.
OP has every right to investigate what is going on in his marriage, especially when his wife starts to distance herself from him and they have been in dead bedroom for two years.
You say she’s a friend In need, my first thought on this is she could be going through something right now personally and is having a hard time and isn’t trying to hurt you. Without knowing why she’s doing this I would have to say yes that would be extremely petty of you to sabotage her.
It's complicated thing. You can't ans shouldn't control her, but you can have boundaries. If she breaches knowing it makes you upset it tells you something about her. She cares about contact with her ex to hurt you.
I would distance myself from somewhat to show how uncomfortable her actions make me. Sure she can contact him, but it's fine that it makes unsure about your relationship and want disengage yourself from it.
She can't have both of you.
No troll.
When we were dating he never had any issues like this until recently. We have been married for 2 years now
She's not going to let you know, because she already did; she's not interested. Just be professional at work and leave it at that.
You don't find someone you think is hard but incompatible with and then go about telling them how they need to change.
Find someone with standards and values that already match yours.
No. That’s a terrible example to set for your son.
No need to apologize. You're hurting and you want to fix it.
You'll get over this, with time and distance, and learn the lessons you need to learn. This may be your first relationship but I promise you it will not be the last one.
Do nothing. Don’t reach out, don’t donate money, nothing. She’s dead to you. She didn’t just disagree with your vision of the project, she tried to RUIN you. Leave her to fate and you keep moving forward.
Sounds like meeting him is a bad idea and the good news is you know it
Yeah hooked up with 8
The first question outright tells all, because who TF thinks like that?
Now I'm a little confused about the shower story. Did the man have to go to counseling because the mom “overreacted” to her child being in the presence of a non-dressed man? Or did the child have to go to counseling from seeing it?
If the man had to go to counseling, there may be more to that story that he didn't tell you. And possibly some sort of paper trail, or proof of what we already suspect.
I really hope that there is some way you can keep that baby far away from him forever because we all suspect the same thing.