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He probably feels blindsided at your change of heart after being adamant that you didn’t want kids, along with the constant badgering about it. You told him your current life together is boring. Why would he change—he’s told you who he was and what he wanted. So much “I” and “me” in your post; seems like you can’t acknowledge anything other than what YOU want. You probably don’t see a lot of others having this problem because they aren’t trying to pull the rug out from their partner and force something that isn’t wanted.
hugs, you may be her safe space but you may not be as sexually as adventurous as she is and you have shown your discomfort which she apparently doesn't care about how you feel as a person. She wants what she wants and she will stomp on your boundaries to get her way and have you in her sandbox. You may like her but if she is unable to acknowledge how you feel except by getting verbally abusive back away.
She sounds like an ex I had, you told her “no” and she attacked, I told him know and he acknowledge my feelings, she isn't acknowledging your feelings.
It has become a running joke within the family that I’m basically a gigantic pussy.
It does seem that way when you're crying about it. Shutting it down makes it seem more so.
You're going to have to on-line with this one. As family stories go, this one isn't getting forgotten.
You made the right call. Her actions were immature, selfish and frankly pretty borderline. You’re saving yourself a nightmare down the road.
There’s a difference between a “positive mindset” and excusing an abuser because they might have been abused.
as I don't want it to turn toxic and painful
You think it isn't already? How exactly do you think it started? Maybe try looking for an actual relationship? One you can start fresh and healthy with.