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u/aniii2005, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.
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That sounds exactly like what we need :/
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You'll be OK. you won't even recognize each other if you trip over one another in 10 or 15 years.
I'm talking strictly in general not about your experience.
I would be very interested in any studies that you could link me which show how prisons deter and prevent sexual deviancy and crime.
His wife is going too? Is it her Christmas present as well? Sounds like everyone in the family is going. All but one, that is.
OP, your exGF's abusive behaviors cannot be excused — but perhaps can be explained, especially if you would speak to a psychologist in your city. They may be due to her having very weak control over her own emotions (i.e., a lack of emotional skills she had no chance to learn in childhood). My exW has that problem. If it is an issue for your exGF, you likely would be seeing 4 other red flags.
The first is a strong abandonment fear. I therefore ask whether, a few months into your relationship, she started showing strong jealousy over harmless events involving other women — or tried to isolate you away from your close friends and family members? She would view your spending time with friends/family as your choosing them over her. Moreover, she usually would hate being alone by herself.
Second, you would be seeing her rely heavily on black-white thinking, wherein she tends to categorize some people as “all good” (“with me”) or “all bad” (“against me”) and will recategorize them — in just a few seconds — from one polar extreme to the other based on a minor infraction.
Because she also uses B-W thinking in judging HERSELF, she would rarely acknowledge making a mistake or having a flaw. Doing so would imply, in her mind, she is “all bad.” She thus would blame nearly all misfortunes/mistakes on you and view herself as “The Victim.”
Further, to “validate” her victim status, she would keep a detailed mental list of every infraction/mistake you ever did (real or imagined) and would not hesitate to pull out the entire list to defend herself in the most insignificant disagreement with you. Moreover, this B-W thinking also would be evident in her frequent use of all-or-nothing expressions like “you ALWAYS…” and “you NEVER….”
Third, you generally would not see her directing her anger at casual friends, coworkers, or total strangers. She usually gets along fine with them. Rather, her outbursts and temper tantrums almost exclusively would be directed against a close loved one (e.g., against you, a sibling, or her parents).
Fourth, you are convinced that she truly loves you. But you frequently see her flipping, on a dime, between Jekyll (loving you) and Hyde (devaluing or hating you) — often making you feel like you're walking on eggshells around her. Such flips would occur in a few seconds in response to some minor thing you say or do. A few hours or days later, she can flip back just as quickly.
OP, have you been seeing strong occurrences of all 4 of these red flags?
He’s coming across as a supercilious pedant (with a touch of mansplainer) but the true issue is that he’s afraid he’s pronouncing words wrong. He’s worried about himself and how others perceive him. Tell him to snap out of it and stop framing this as if YOU are automatically the wrong one. He can quietly take note of the word and later go look it up for his own edification.
You can look into being put under. Some places do allow it. 🙂 Sorry you had a bad time though.
I’m sorry, no, that’s the convenient lie that people tell themselves to avoid admitting that the issue is their partner. The vast majority of judges do not want to weigh in on divorce proceedings if the parties can resolve things. It’s literally not worth the judges time.
If you are at the point of blaming the courts, you are admitting that you cannot resolve the conflict with your partner in the event of the divorce … and if you are anticipating a conflict based on greed, as in this scenario, the at fault party is one’s soon to be former spouse.