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If your partner isn’t already meeting your needs and you are married then you have far greater problems.
But you feel free to bend constantly and see the result. As much as inflexibility can ruin a relationship, being too amenable can do the same.
If this was something that OP desired to do then that is different. But it’s not and it would be ridiculous to expect otherwise.
She sounds like a person oneshould not commit to. Whenever you were trying to move on from her she would pull you only to then give cold shoulder. You have been an option and probably should have cut contact being led on the first time. You didn't, but you are young so it's understandable mistake.
If you get together with her it won't be relationship meant to last. Still you might have some fun with her. However deep in your mind you shouldn't treat it seriously until long time passes and she proves her commitment. Be vigilant and when she starts playing you like her ex you should just pack your bags and ignore any gaslighting from her