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I have this feeling that you being a SAHM created a « debt », since you didn’t financially provide for your family. And now, you have an income so he wants you to repay this « debt »
OP, this is bullshit, will you were a SAHM, toi took care of your children, you birthed, you had tremendous changes happening to your body. What YOU WENT THROUGH COSTS SO MUCH MORE THAT THE MONEY HE BROUGHT WHILE YOU WERE SAHM. You don’t owe him anything, he owe you your child.
your boyfriend is a jerk.
wth. people can't do nice things for others because it i the right thing to do and feels good to support people you care about?! there has to be some superficial, selfish motive to cheapen and invalidate your good deeds?
fucking bullshit. that mentality is why human society is going down the toilet.
he sucks. hope he can do some internl work and realize his attitude is bs. if not, i hope you find a better one.
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Don’t you have free will and autonomy?
Tell her to knock it off. Block her and tell your gf.
You aren’t required to interact with her.
You need to have a spine about this.
Yeah it must be; especially since the definition idiom is a group of words established by usage as having a meaning not deducible from those of the individual words.
It is impossible to deduce the meaning of a idiom through context that is literally what makes it an idiom
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Actually, it sounds like he’s using that against her. Also, what if the months match up now so she no longer “owes” her.
He seems to be using that time she was unemployed but actively trying to find work as a means to take advantage of her now or like a tit for tat. She’s been paying 100% for months now so I would say they are even. She asked him for 50% which, she has a reasonable request, she wants to help her sick mom. Not to mention, the percentage of her income that the bills are. It is 1000% not the same.
She should just move out and focus her efforts at home.
This.
If she is a lesbian, she might talk highly of you and he might get jealous. It sounds like she sees through his B.S.
I hope you find the strength within yourself to leave him. It's sad that his friend values you more than he does.
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hugs Hopefully, he will change or else, you got to take ya business elsewhere.
Wrong sub. She's not asking if she's wrong she asking for advice. Also yes it sounds made up. Why are they called boyfriend jeans when they're just plain jeans? Once again I never said her boyfriend has to ditch his friend. If him and OP don't work out that's on them.
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But there is no rent involved since OP said she OWNS the apartment.
You wouldn’t be the first person to fall pregnant with a strangers baby, but you need to ask yourself if you’re ready to be a single mom at such a young age. He can talk all he wants about being ready, but you don’t actually know this guy, and he may think he’s telling you what you want to hear.
You know, I would consider getting into therapy and maybe even having a session where you can bring your husband to talk about this in the therapeutic setting. This might help buffer any angry feelings your husband might have about you bringing up how you feel when there is a therapist there to mediate the conversation and help the both of you understand what points and perspectives you both are coming from
Ehh there is no reason for you to like the picture. I wouldn’t attribute that to you cheating, but it isn’t a good look when friends and family can see your significant other liking cleavage pics.
However, if you’re considering breaking up with her then this seems like just a symptom of a larger problem you have in the relationship.
On the one hand, I applaud you for trying to make it work. On the other hand… is your husband worth it? Truly worth it? If he's bamboozled that easily by someone outside of your marriage, how can you trust him when some kind of emergency comes up?
As someone who was raised in a broken home (divorced parents, just like about every 2nd kid born in the late 70s or early 80s it seems), yes it's hard on the single parent who's trying to raise a kid by themselves. But it's a lot harder to raise mentally healthy children by staying in an abusive marriage. A marriage without trust is emotionally abusive to everyone involved.
I'd do a couple of things in your shoes.
Get therapy for yourself in addition to group therapy. Naked boundaries for your husband moving forward with that 'friend' Ali. No Contact. She's your worst nightmare. If husband has proof that she lied about you cheating, he needs to give that up. Go to HR and let them know. She may have been doing this to other colleague's or their partners too. Get an STD panel check. If husband dearest is so quick to believe a cheater AND he has been with other women even before the ink on the divorce papers was dry, you really don't know where he's been during your marriage. Don't risk your health or your baby's. If they're hooked, unhook your finances and make sure you only have accounts and credit cards etc. in your own name. Have a shared account only for shared household expenses. Oh and this one's petty: after the kid is born: DNA test to proof it's his kid. If he asks why tell him that since he was so ready to believe you cheated you want absolutely no doubt in his mind that the kid is his.
The idea is that while you may want to reconcile and try to work things out, you need to have something to fall back on if it doesn't. You need to look out for your number 1 and 2: you and your kid.
You said you would respect her time and space and now you want to go back on that. She said she needed alone time. If she wanted to talk to you about her dog or other mundane things, she would.
You've heard of a manchild. Well, this is a manbaby. He will not stop being mean to you, and will almost surely get worse. I don't know how long you've been together or how your living and financial situations are, but the sooner you're away from this the better.
If you would answer the one question everyone keeps asking maybe you'd get more helpful feedback. Are you 30 or are you 23. And when you said your “of” had an abortion did you mean gf?
My partner, my friends and I are going to that party.
This post is about the shopping part. The tinder friend asked me to go shopping since he needs to go shopping too. He is not going to that party.
Seems there is a little misunderstanding here.
Wtf. You just said it’s entirely her fault and he was a teenager. Now they’re both adults. Get your argument straight. Lol wow
I used to work in the child welfare field. We had received a report that a young teen was pregnant by her stepdad. Were informed he was infertile by a physician, so the report wasn’t taken seriously. Got another report about the same situation. Paternity test was done, and stepdad was the baby’s father. Just pointing out that it’s not impossible that OP is the father.
It just feels gross to me that this man feels entitled to your first orgasm.
How many times has he orgasmed in his sexual history? Likely most times he has had sex.
So why is this any different? Even if you have trouble getting there it doesn't mean he gets to have some weird possessiveness over your orgasm.
I saw that ep of cSI years ago and have been interested in chimeras ever since
She called me crying and begging to not look at the test when it comes
I’m not saying it’s healthy for her to be overweight.
She likely has body dysmorphia. I’m saying that if the only thing stopping you committing suicide was not caring about smoking cigarettes then I wouldn’t be advocating for you to quit smoking. I know that neither are healthy and ideally you work on both. It needs a great deal of care. I hope OP can really support her with that.
You don't need to repeat this, I already explained it's hard to believe you are not.
You leave, and try to remember that her decision if she makes it to end herself, is not your fault, not your responsibility. it is her attempt at manipulating you.
Yep! 100% fake post
After I said I can't believe we lost that beautiful thing we had. He sent a message saying 'I am so conflicted in my mind. I know what we have is so amazing, I've been thinking about our memories and looking at our pictures and thinking about what I've done'. This also doesn't mean anything?
I am trying to find at least a small sign he wants me back ?
He can have issues over his dad AND still wishe he was in a relationship with his ex.
Do yourself a favour and point out to him when he says things that are hurtful to you. Then if he continues maybe you'll see it & not make excuses.
A person being hung up on their ex is never going to work in a relationship.
This. Trying to blame it on inexperience? As a 30yo man?
No. No means no. It's as easy as that.
OP told him to stop countless times and he didn't. He can't be trusted alone with women. Period. Women should run from him, including OP.
Given your ages I'm going to assume this is the first time he's ever lived in such close proximity to a SO. He might just be having a really hot time adjusting to not having enough time to himself.
It sounds like you're also in classes together? That would compound the alone time issue, if that is it.
You mentioned falling behind, did he fail a class?
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Sounds like that dog is not well trained at all, and has behavioral problems. Maybe try to get your bf to get his dog a professional trainer? I don't see you having a good relationship with you bf if you move in together when his dog is so aggressive.
The question I would ask first is “Has she asked you to specifically wear this kind of underwear and has she ever expressed an interest in it?”
If not, I'd go for a expensive pair of designer trunk style underpants and hit her up while you're in a suit – or something tailored that involves good fitting pants and a nice crisp white shirt with rolled sleeves. And I'm not talking stripper pants or shirt. Just good, smart, well fitted, clean and crisp clothes.
“literally proven”
*citation needed
I agree my expectations for him might have been too high. Maybe we had different ideas of where it was going when we decided to start seeing each other at the time.
But it's January, now. And you guys are back together.
What leads you to believe you haven't healed from the breakup? Are you still crying about it?
First of all, you shot yourself in the foot by going through her phone. Second of all half what you said sounds completely normal and the other half not so much.
The “when you turn 18” comment sounds potentially creepy if he's a lot older if not it's just flirtatious but not that big of a deal what you're looking for is how she responds not what he says.
The calling her beautiful and him being glad he gets to talk to her now that he has grown as a person is also completely normal and fine.
As for the talking badly about you to him that's a doozy because on one end that sounds like a boundary on your behalf and since she agreed it was wrong she should have kept it that way. BUT I'm curious to know what's the appropriate thing for her to do when you get into an argument? She needs a support system and she should be able to vent and lean on her friends and family for support.
I'm sure you mean well and your arguments are probably mundane but keep in mind that setting rules like these in a relationship could be a horrible thing in a not healthy relationship. I'm obviously not accusing you of anything bad but it can be taken as a red flag if your partner tells you you aren't ever allowed to talk about your arguments to other people. She or anyone around her hearing that and thinking it's a red flag would not be wrong for doing so.
Why does she have to change her communication to suit the OP? She’s happy with how the conversation goes and the results. She’s not being rude, and genuinely cares about the OPs opinion. She doesn’t ask questions and ignore the answers. I struggle how that’s rude. It’s a different communication style, but I wouldn’t say it’s better or worse than a different style.
It's understandable to feel upset and concerned about your boyfriend's past relationships, especially if they were more experienced than you. It's important to remember that everyone has their own unique experiences and relationships, and it's not fair to compare yourself to your boyfriend's past partners. Communicate with your boyfriend about your feelings and seek support from a trusted friend or counselor. Remember to be patient with yourself and give yourself time to work through these difficult feelings.
It's just a polite thing to say when someone has moved to your area. It's not an obligation to do anything and there isn't a list. Personally, unless there were no other options I'd limit my requests for assistance to things like recommendations for places to go, see, easy, shop, if even that.
I saw your update where it said you had opened your own business and wanted to say congratulations! (Comments were locked on the other thread) it sucks that you felt like you had to go the nuclear route but clearly your family didn’t want to admit to any of your contributions. Sweat equity is a real thing and it’s frustrating that they discredited your naked work. Hopefully we will see an update here soon about how your new business is going.
Omg, she can be 40 and with a loving caring partner?!? NOOOO
What an absolute nightmare!!!!
My question is more why do you have to keep meeting up with him in hotel rooms? Don’t either of you have homes you could use?
Or are one or both of you married and this relationship is on the downlow? Because if so you’ve got bigger issues than a hotel room
Best case scenario, he’s aiming for a threesome and botched it worse than Putin’s invasion of Ukraine.
Yeah honestly bottom line is they just aren't compatible and are refusing solutions
Where are your parents in all this?
they’ve already met
Under no circumstances do you respond for her or interact with him on her behalf. Even if she asks it’s generally a bad idea
I don’t see anything wrong with her paying for u! U shouldn’t make it all about your pride u know. Sometimes atleast sometimes in situations like this let her pay if she is insisting..
I don’t know why you’re all demonising the guy. He’s dated younger women up until now but he explicitly said that he sees this going somewhere and he wasn’t serious about that stuff. Reddit’s unfailing ability to tell people to dump each other is out of control.
He might have been thinking, “I want kids, but I also want a couple of years to get to know the mother of my kids.” There are a million possibilities here.
OP, you need to chill out a bit and just move forward with an open mind & an open heart. No one here knows a thing about love, apparently.
I dont understand big proposals. It's not something I've ever envisaged. My husband proposed to me on Christmas Day, straight after a night shift, while I was wearing an Animal (from the muppets), onesie. We were on our sofa, and I was just about to go to bed, I had makeup running down my face. It was very much in keeping with him. No pretence, no in the woods at midnight, angels singing and peacocks prancing. Was I slightly disappointed? Yes. Does it matter? Not really.
Do you love him? Do you want to marry him? Do you at least like the ring? Those are the important things in a proposal. Not a fairy tale that sounds like the beginnings of a true crime podcast.
Your feelings are valid, but his are too.
So i was already in our bed watching tv and he comes in ready for bed
No, she doesn't want to know for sure.
Sure, she will suspect it. She knows your social circle, and who is possible and who isn't. But, as soon as you confirm it, it will be real for her.
P.s. make sure this is really what you and your wife want. Sometimes this is said, and she doesn't want to lose you, but also doesn't like you to be with someone else because it affirms her inability to provide for you in this way.
As an added extra tip: If you do this, most likely your wife will feel very insecure about this. Make sure you let her know you will not leave her. Take her on dates, give her massages, the usual, whatever you can do to reaffirm her that you still love her.
The affair might not even be real, she just wants to end the relationship.
I’ve been on both sides of this, and I get how hard it is. It’s completely understandable to be burnt out in your position, and I hope you and your wife can find some better support resources soon!
Also, I feel you about basically grieving the life you “could have” or “should have” had. That’s normal and human, and it’s good you’re listening to your emotions.
That being said, I would (gently and kindly) encourage you to process your own grief more fully before making any major decisions.
No matter what you decide to do, it doesn’t change the awful truth that the life you thought you would have didn’t turn out that way. Which is a huge loss.
When we’re in the midst of a very hot situation like this that makes us feel overwhelmed, it’s easy to jump to the thought of how much better life could be without the situation.
But the thing is, you’re going to have those emotions no matter what you decide to do (stay or go.)
Even if you do decide to leave, at some point you’ll have to deal with the grief of spending your formative years with someone you love, and then losing them. Which is hard and awful and I’m so sorry you’re going through that!
But from experience, I’d recommend sitting with that grief for awhile before making any major decisions about your life.
It might clear your head so that you can see the future more clearly.
Also, I’d strongly recommend finding respite care (or even just a housekeeper) to give yourself a sanity break and help you rest.
That might be easier said than done, but the world might feel a lot more manageable if you take a very hot look at everything you feel like you “have” to do, and instead cut it down to bare essentials.
I hope that’s useful. I wish you happiness!
She's mental, and men her own age know better and avoid her, so she has to date younger men who are naive af and easy to control.
If you are in a western country, its no longer true that courts always side with the mother.
Why do (cheating) women always seem to get a pass when they simply “admit” they have “low self-esteem”?
How does fucking someone you're really not supposed to be fucking sooth your self-esteem issues and get you off the hook for your shitty decision making? And how in the world did OP take this as a valid excuse.
(note: this is rhetorical, deep down OP also has self esteem issues and imposter syndrome which will eventually lead to her cheating on her future husband and blaming him for it)
What he did was basically revenge sex, and my sister, being an emotionally vulnerable person, willingly agreed.
Oh I see your sister was the VICTIM! Makes sense now. I mean yeah, revenge sex where the target doesn't know about the revenge.
Good luck with future relationships.
he isn’t married lol but I do wonder about the relationship thing. He never brings up a gf at least not around me. I’ve also never asked. It might be the fear that someone could be so cruel to come on that strong for MONTHS and be in love with someone else. Genuinely would make me throw up and never want to be vulnerable again. That’s scary but definitely happens. He’s “joked” about me having a boyfriend multiple times and then stopped when I finally said I didn’t and would never entertain him if I did. But I’ve never mentioned a gf around him.
I have about 4 friends with my same name. We go by nurse xxxx, cop xxxx, bartender xxxx, and dart xxxx. Why does this shit matter if your kids have the same name. Wait, does she even have a kid with that name? Tell her I said she's being weird. It's fun having the same name as someone else.
Just go for it, but with more the 3, his friends your friends, make an event of it