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Jeff and Mugi ( Independent model), 25 y.o.
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Well he groomed you so… I don't think this is surprising at all.
This woman didn’t blame herself in any capacity, she didn’t insinuate anything about her partner. Just asked for assistance.
But yet you somehow, assumed A). He’s 40 years so that means he must know that you need lube for sex(which doesn’t make sense, not everyone needs lube), that B). It’s possible he sucks at sex, despite her she flat out saying she feels physical pain from any type of penetration, and has been a virgin up until this point, which seeing that, it’s obvious there’s something more going on, C). Due to the age gap(between adults, not young adults like 19 or something but this woman is 27; she’s almost thirty), he’s possibly abusing her and telling her she’s broken.
Like, there’s no accountability to be shared here, she’s just asking for advice but her somehow, you’re trying to take it away from her and blame the man.
This sub can be really surprising, brutal, and unforgiving to people who come seeking advice or for the confirmation of suspicions. Its not that anyone takes genuine mirth in sharing these opinions, at least I would hope not. I think a lot of people start in this or similar subs by being super present and thoughtful and even apologetic when delivering what they think is bad news. Eventually a callousness to most situations builds up and it becomes more a delivery of judgement than the compassionate help it ought to be.
Maybe that means it's time to take a break from all of it, I'm not sure.
Regardless, I recognize you're going through a really shitty time and want you to know I, and others, truly wish things were better. They will be one day, sooner than you think, no matter how you decide to move forward from this.
I can't read all these comments to see if it's been said, but you really don't deserve any of this. Your dad needs to stop venting to you and relying on you to try to get through to your mom. None of this is yours to fix or to help with, even if you want to. They're your parents, ffs. Even though you're an adult, it should be second nature to shield you from their drama. I urge you to set that boundary asap, for your own mental health and stability. You will no longer talk to them about each other. They will no longer talk about each other in your or your siblings presence. Period.
I think you need to ask yourself if his good qualities outweigh the fact that he's making you feel worthless and depressed. You guys have been together for almost 9 years. He isn't in any rush to get married to you. I'm not sure if it will ever happen at this rate.
So.. that brings me to my next question. Would you be happy with him even if you never got married? Objectively speaking, everyone has life goals. Things that are important to them, which are deal breakers if their spouse doesn't agree. Marriage and children are usually the top 2 issues.
It's okay if you're tired of waiting. Sometimes we outgrow people. It happens.
She has and always will be a cheater. Married doesn't change shit.
No, you guy broke up and needs to stay that way, you don't want to be drag into session of begging or threatening if you don't get with her she will do this or that.
You can send a letter to her parents/sister and let them know the reasons why you broke up and that they need to stop the harassment, block the whole lot and let the new guy to be there for her.
Don't let them manipulate you into getting back with her.
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