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Sounds like you all need a break then. A month or so to figure your shit out.
This will end in tears no matter what. If he hasn't made any motion to leave his wife in those two years, I doubt he will ever leave. You say you've both invested a lot, however he is still with his wife, so it looks that you've invested far more.
I think for your own sake, you should look seriously at moving on. Being the “other” woman cannot be emotionally fulfilling. How long would you want to remain a secret.
So her plan is to stay with you while exploring a relationship with her boss. If it works out, she will leave you for her boss. If it doesn’t, she’ll stay with you. But the expectation is for you to continue to pay bills and be the dutiful husband while she has sex with her boss and builds a relationship. She only told you because her boss’s wife kicked him out and she now has the opportunity to date him more openly. She doesn’t have to sneak around anymore since the wife knows. It’s time to have some self respect and kick her to the curb.
The problem is that she is an arrogant, pretentious, graceless snob, and you’re too sycophantic and lacking in self-respect to call her on her bullshit. It’s actually shocking to me that you could list every ugly, negative attribute in this person and then wonder if you’re the problem. Just because she reads books, draws pretty pictures, and is autistic doesn’t mean she is entitled to treat you or anybody else like garbage.
How did you find you have a son somewhere?
We're kinda missing a lot of details.
What's with his mother? Who's paying for him now?
I mean, what happened?
There's another issue between A and me. I updated the post. A is my ex's collegues.
There are many different kinds of doctors and not all of them work insanely long hours or are on call. She could very well choose and Area of medicine that works well for a family
Or, hear me out, they can present the same front if HE changes his last name to hers.