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Dmitry and Lina, 27 y.o.
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“it gives him a thrill to do something he knows he shouldn’t be doing” What??
Is he being a perv doing something actually wrong, OR is it only wrong because he hides it?
If he is open about it, or does not hide it, is that cool with you?
are you talking about xie lian????
Don’t give in to this manipulative, childish BS. She said she was on a diet and refused them twice. It’s her problem.
The app probably keep matches even if he uninstalled it. You could ask him to set it up back on his phone and show you his profile.
Even if you trust him, rationally, seeing an empty match list could help you give credence to his story on an emotional level (or prove he's lying).
Giving or receiving oral? It’s possible he’d be able to w down with whatever you like, but it’s impossible to know without talking with him. Figuring out sexual compatibility should be a priority before marriage is on the table.
I appreciate your insight but you are assuming many things that were not stated.
We don’t barely tolerate each other. We get along quite well and even own a business together. But when there is a disagreement because of something I feel/want/dislike, it cannot be resolved because he just digs in his heels and says I’m wrong. He also lied and gaslit me for the first half of our relationship and that is what we are working on in therapy. Therapy also takes time and yes, there are some improvements but i don’t see the effort being made.
I’m sure he is checked out. Me too, probably. None of that was the advice I was asking about. I’m sure there is a character limit and to explain our relationship history would well exceed it. All I wanted to know was how other families treat nieces and nephews and whether my experience was common or if I am overreacting.
Reading your story, what stands out to me is a lack of equal life experience and reciprocity in your relationships with women. Your ex is ten years (a quarter of your life) younger and your ex best friend is close to half your age. It is very likely either or both of them would be questioning you and themselves about your relationships in dialogue with others. You sound like a decent person, but predatory behavior is common from men in midlife towards young adult women.
Obviously different age groups can be friends, and I believe your statement that there was nothing sexual in your friendship. But you do recognize that there very often is, and people like your friend’s new girlfriend would be likely to ask her about it.
That brings me to the lack of reciprocal care. You were doing everything for a much younger woman who lived with you. Caretaking a long term partner is a loving thing, and you sound kind. But can you see that the two relationships on your mind seem to indicate that you overspend yourself to try to hold on to people? It indicates that you might possibly be picking the wrong people to connect to. It’s at least something to consider, whether your history shows a pattern of attachment to inappropriate persons who are incapable of being truly available and ready for a connection with you.
In her explanation, she’s basically telling you that she judges you for your child having a speech delay. I’m sorry she so unsupportive and superficial. I would not spend time with this woman.