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Omg you really need to get into therapy. I know you said you think you do or need it but it sounds like you are surrounded by toxic people. You need somebody to help you through this minefield.
I would move out or live! separately I would go low contact with your parents. You are heavily pregnant and even without out it, it sounds like everybody is dismissing your needs while accusing you of terrible things.
You are surrounded by toxic people! Do you have any friends who live away you can go stay with for a short time while you start therapy.
You husband accused you of cheating, threw out his heavily pregnant wife, started divorce proceedings then hey ho while sleeping with others (I do not believe him he has not cheated) maybe got sti or dumped so let’s pretend nothing happened and by the way I want to get straight back to having sex. Hollywood could not sell me on this. It sounds like nobody stuck up for you. Nobody had your back please go to therapy. Get somebody to back you a little until you get new people in your life.
“Hey, relationship advice subreddit, my wife/husband and I have a weird age gap and got together when one of us was really young. Now we have fucked up problems ! Please help!” ?♀️
That's not really gaslighting, as he didn't try to make you believe in some alternate reality or question your sanity.
The main aspect of gaslighting is when they make you believe it's all in your head and there's nothing realistic about your beliefs.
Kinda like if he'd said “Those weren't condoms, it was a gag gift box from a party” after you'd handed them over to him and he disposed of them. You know for a fact you found a box of condoms, but he'd try to make you think you'd seen something else. That's gaslighting you.
Honey, find a lawyer and advise yourself according to your local laws
Now he wants us to go and I'm the one who's not sure it's even worth it
Move back in but stay in a different room of the house, regardless of how uncomfortable it is. If you move it, it will just serve an ammo that you don’t need the home you own and you will legally thrown out on your ass if you decide to file for anything.
Get an attorney asap. I’m sorry this happened. Stay strong
Quite possibly, I see not here the problem but in the fact that she chose to lie and that is a conscious decision. She lost his trust when she showed that she was capable of lying to him if that was in her best interest. If she was honest and assumed things from the beginning there was no problem now.
Let's put the violence aside for a moment… he said he'd cut off his friend. What more do you want? Him to get arrested for beating someone?? Desiring violence is a pretty toxic trait if you ask me. You wanting your bf to get all riled up and angry is concerning, and I would look at that within yourself.
It's your boyfriend's job to take care of this. If he's allowing it, you have a serious bf problem.
I'd never let my sibling talk to my partner that way. They'd be removed from my life in no time if they showed so little respect.