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She’s got her AP. He can probably do something for her right?
Here’s the thing: all of this sounds like it’s coming from a kind and loving place, and yet… it’s not really at all about what he needs or wants, but about you needing to feel good about yourself.
Some people like and want to be cheered up, or to talk through what’s on their mind when feeling blue — your boyfriend is not one of those people. He wants simply to be left alone for a little bit, to be alone with his thoughts, to be allowed to just have his mood without feeling pressured to come out of it or externalize his feelings.
When you just let him be, you ARE helping him. That’s the mistake in your thinking. If what you truly want is to give him what he needs to feel better, then just ignoring his mood and doing your own thing for a couple hours is the thing you should do.
It’s not healthy for your whole sense of self to be thrown into turmoil because your partner has the blues once in a while. Those are times you ask if they want to talk or watch a movie or whatever, and if the don’t then you just go do your own thing. It doesn’t have to mean that YOUR whole day has to shift into crisis mode; it’s just your partner taking some down time.
Now, if he’s in these “moods” all the time, that’s a whole different situation. But that’s not the way you describe the situation here.
This is the best answer!
People, if he wouldn't hold hands, hug his male bestie from behind, or caress their face – then its not ok if the friends female!
Learn to talk about things that might hurt his feelings now.
I’m about to get a divorce after 15 years because we didn’t really talk about things that might hurt the other person and now there’s just so many things. Once we started we each had a list a mile long and THAT is hurtful, let me tell you.
Exactly what I was thinking. Maybe the gf wanted to end the relationship because OP was being toxic af? It's certainly likely judging from his words. His text was awful.
Refreshing to see the gender roles swapped; yes – mothers can also be awful parents and neglect their child! Feminism is working, let's drop the standards of parenting, girlies!
/s
i didn’t change.. although i want to change to be better for my other half and make our relationship stronger? i asked for advice on an advice sub and you’re not providing, just hounding me with questions, lol.
looks at ages
Yep
This is incredibly difficult and the fact that you are so willing to be this forgiving shows your great compassion and love for your wife. What you’ve done is biblical love whether you know it or not. I’m sure the immense love you’ve shown her will keep her incredibly loyal to you. Im sorry you guys went through this. It sucks to be human sometimes. Glad y’all are working through it and not taking the easy way out.