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Happy cake day!
Are you saying your wife is not your best friend? But another woman is?
You are an asshole. You don’t act like you broke up with your wife on bad terms. You have a coparenting relationship with her. Just coparent and talk about your son or pet. Do not talk to her about other issues. You are putting your relationship in the backburner without caring about your wives feelings
Make it up to her by letting her go, you're CLEARLY incompatible and that's fine.
Short story — my best friend growing up was a model. Obviously not famous but she became really successful in our town/state/general region of the country. Honestly watching her start her career to how she ended it was maybe one of the greatest honors of our life, she became a complete force of art.
Her love life was nothing but trouble and every partner she had would inevitably get uncomfortable about her career (here's the part you should take notes) — the career she had WELL before meeting them.
It's not like she's your partner of 5 years and she recommended an entire career change that competes with your values. That might actually be a difficult situation. This is a very easy one.
Four months is nothing and be honest with yourself that you don't like her career now that you're learning more. That's fine but you're not going to become completely fine with it and totally supportive overnight. And you shouldn't have to be by any stretch, but you deserve to be with someone whose career doesn't make you uncomfortable and she definitely definitely deserves to be with someone who is her number one cheerleader.
Like my best friend wisely realized “everybody wants to date a model until they're dating a model”.
Because then suddenly they don't like that their girlfriend spends their career half nude and oggled over.
Just let her go man. You may like her but lots of people have ended lots of relationships with people they liked. You will hate it when she's gone and the fact you put your insecurities on her plate like her career was a problem she needed to solve for you is really uncool, just be kind and realize you won't be happy in this situation either and let her go peacefully.
I get why people are suggesting it, but hyphenation would technically mean none of you have the same last name. Unless you ALL changed the last name to be hyphenated.
You could always pick a way cooler NEW last name for everyone
You could get over it
You could let it be a deal breaker and leave
You could ask if the 2nd child can have your last name
You can see if the middle name is something she is willing to compromise on instead of hyphenation
You can continue to bitch about it to her in hopes you get your way or hyphenation
Dump him. Can understand not wanting to share a bed with a pet (allergies here)but not wanting to come over if you're cuddling your dog on the couch is a dealbreaker. Are you meant to crawl into her cage to cuddle? Give her up for him? Pfff. Nope!