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On-line Live Sex Chat rooms Kylie is 20 years old (Long hair) Alice is 18 years old (Short hair) Cristian is 19 years old
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Everyone commenting “this is a conversation that you need to have with him. Communicate”
She has been. It's very obvious by the language in this post that this has been a topic of discussion for their entire relationship.
And instead of being honest with OP and saying “I'm never going to want kids” he lied for a decade and kept moving the goal posts on her…
Off to a banging good start then…
Just say “Thank you but it's not for me”. Just keep saying no however way they ask.
You're missing the point. This is something that he wants and is important to him. It sounds like it is important to her as well too so compatability might be in question.
As you mentioned, the same goes for things like not having sex before marriage. Obviously, that's not for us (lol), but if that is not what someone wants, you should never have one partner pressure the other into something… Doesn't that make sense? And having that preference doesn't make someone wrong. They're doing what's right for them.
Awe OP, I really, really feel for you.
The best case scenario here is that you're seeing competition where none exists. I promise you it is 100% possible for your wife to care about an ex in a way that is important and impactful but that isn't romantic and doesn't affect how she feels about you.
I also think it is very reasonable that you are hurt by this. I think you should tell your wife that because of the way you two got together, you will need a lot of reassurance from her, and that her handling of this situation is disrespectful of your reasonable insecurities.
For example I actually think it's normal for a person to place special importance on a gift from someone who isn't in their life anymore, but if she loves you she should be making an effort not to be hurtful about how she treats the gifts either. I wonder if she doesn't know how hurt you are, or if she somehow believes that men shouldn't be hurt by these things.
Last… Understand that everyone's love is somewhat conditional even in non arranged marriage. No matter how much I love my husband there is a minimum financial and materialistic level that the relationship has to work on. If part of what your life loves about you is the life you've built and how you run a household together… that is still a legit part of real love and everyone factors it in a some level. Again though I understand why this is a point of anxiousness for you and your wife should be making efforts to ease your discomfort.
It is possible that she has romantic feelings for her ex, but if she's only faithful to you because you keep her away from him… If that happens you need to find a better woman. But I believe in your relationship. I'm not saying you should just give in to exactly what she's asked, but there may be some degree of contact that is possible with boundaries where you can see you're still her #1. Maybe.