Stop it. She raped him, full stop. Yes it's quite possible that she may have also been a victim of sexual abuse herself, we don't know that, but even then, it would not justify her actions or make it not rape and traumatizing for OP's boyfriend. Plenty of people who harm others have been harmed themselves, and it doesn't make the harm they cause any less real.
I agree with all this. It sounds like you see her perspective much better and aren't self centering her drama about you. Good on you.
Play (sexual or otherwise) requires that both people like it. You didn’t like it. He knew you didn’t like it. He did it anyway. That’s not play.
Stop it. She raped him, full stop. Yes it's quite possible that she may have also been a victim of sexual abuse herself, we don't know that, but even then, it would not justify her actions or make it not rape and traumatizing for OP's boyfriend. Plenty of people who harm others have been harmed themselves, and it doesn't make the harm they cause any less real.
Exactly this. I had an ex like this…..get away as fast as you can!