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Does your boyfriend ever make you feel heard during an argument? Is there ever any resolution? Does he always just get defensive and shut down?
I don’t know if one, or both of you are being unreasonable, but it definitely sounds like you are incompatible and not making each other happy. You should go to therapy to make sure that you can function, because your reaction is not sustainable, regardless of whether it is reasonable or not. But also you should probably break up because you sound very incompatible and just kind of awful for each other.
I feel so stupid and wondering why I am hesitating so much
I just talked to him and he himself is upset at how mad he gets so there is that. Any strategies for him?
Ya I think if you tone it down and don’t do it in a goofy way
Well all know what you will do. You will get married and have this shit kid annoying you for years. And you will complain. And everyone will try to ignore you because you don't really want help.