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Ohhh my I am laughing about the Seinfeld episode when Jerry tells George he’s in a relationship now because his friend had tampax in his house of hers ? good luck op good luck fwb…
I was ready to say yes you are being controlling until you said all of the following are true: (1) She only replies to the ex when you're not around, (2) She asks to see your phone and you oblige, and (3) She has multiple instances of past cheating in her history.
You might trust her, but I wouldn't. I'd just leave and not even make an issue of it. I think you've seen enough here.
Yes it would, you need to leave, she is using you.
Can I ask something?
He often will say I’m redirecting if we are talking about sex and then suddenly my mind springs onto another topic. I get it’s frustrating, but all we do is talk about sex. I’m a bit tired of it at this point. He says he wants me horny all day, but who has the energy for that? He gets really mad when I redirect. How do I stop him from getting mad at me?
Weirdly into a handjob….I’ve officially heard it all.
This. He can’t expect you two to be attached at the hip at all times since you are two separate people. Considering you’ve been together for almost 6 years and you’ve visited your family for the holidays consistently in that time (minus 2020 thanks to covid) he should be well equipped enough to spend an evening or an afternoon in your family home without you there.
He is not a good dad if he is only a “good dad” to one. He is abusive.
No he doesn't own her but it's a boundary and I'd for sure ask. The thing is though if you ask and he prefers you don't date her will you respect it?
If you get along great then it will work out, if you dont it could strain her and her brothers relationship and your relationship with the brother. I think you have to consider where you think it may go and how serious you are because it could end very badly.
You tell him that since he cares more about how masculine he appears than he does about your relationship, you're going to find someone who does care about the relationship enough to get help.
And then you leave
Aye the words that hurt but hold lots of truth. Much appreciated. Need to hear the stuff I probably don’t want to. Ugh life is very hot.
For further context we aren't dating with the caviar that a few people tell me she liked me or likes me. It gets confusing sometimes.
In case it hasn’t been mentioned yet: there’s a non-zero chance that “France” is actually a hotel a couple of towns down the interstate, and her “friends” are actually that new guy from work. Get information from other sources than her. Ones who have no incentive to cover for her.
Do you know the husbands of any of these friends of hers? Even if the travel destination is legit, these guys would probably be appalled to hear that this is not just vacation but “self-discovery” for at very least one of their ranks. How many others are planning on exploring their options to the fullest?
Heck, there’s a decent chance that she’s expecting you to just be so relieved she’s back after two weeks after all, that you don’t look too closely at what she did while she was away.
it's difficult to trust
not suitable for serious relationship
run std tests
You're better off breaking up with her, she had no problem lying to you.
she bed with ex and had eager, planned sex
Now you know her character.
Based on current advice regarding tearing, the week to two weeks you’re waiting probably isn’t as long as it should be when the tearing is happening this often.
I would step back and think about this from a health-related perspective, not a sex-related perspective. As someone whose body likes to tear during sex from a medical condition occasionally, if my husband pushed specific surgery on me I would be like, “What the hell?”, it’s okay to be worried about our partner’s health, it’s not okay to push specific medical solutions.
I think he needs to go and see a medical professional, opposed to you suggesting surgery. A quick, “I’m really worried about how frequently you’re tearing and the scar tissue damage that could cause. Would you be open to seeing a professional for their advice?”
Realistically, it’s worth noting that there are conditions that can cause things like this that need to be ruled out and come with treatment plans that don’t require surgery. I know for the one I have, they can mitigate tearing with corticosteroid therapy as a first line treatment.
Talking his options through with a specialist is his best option, that way they can all be laid on the table for him as well as what will happen if he just does nothing.
It is worth noting, you can’t force someone to get surgery. If he’s not for it and this is impacting your sex life this much, you might need to step back and look at sexual compatibility.
I don't think I can take legal action about that in NZ. They'd just say to sort it ourselves
It’s definitely a red flag. The only person who told me something similar ended up cheating, so it’s them just setting up the relationship for failure knowing they will cheat, and probably to get back at you if you ever make them angry enough.
You didn't put T in the same situation, obviously, you merely mentioned him. Merely mentioning her son in this context sets her off, but she thinks it's actually okay to watch CP? That's insane. You didn't do anything wrong, and neither did X.
You need to communicate with him. That’s really all there is to it. If you want it bad enough you will sit him down and really talk and tell him how you feel about him and the potential.
He shouldn’t punish you for shit your ex is doing