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Your husband is gay.
I think what would be best is for you both to have couples counselling.
Get everything off both of your chests, be completely open and honest and get a clean slate going. I think trust needs to be rebuilt – not only your trust in her due to her lies, but certainly she has shown that even years ago that she did not trust you.
Both of you need to sit down with someone and discuss what each of you envisions for your marriage and see if these visions even match up. If they do then discuss how you both achieve that or even whether you can both deliver on that. It may be that she sees marriage differently to you, or it may be that you see it the same way but that one or both of you are unable to give what is needed to reach that vision.
In regards to your fetish; that's quite a tough situation to be with someone for maybe most of your life but not be able to express that interest with them or to be made to feel ashamed. Unless your fetish is illegal or cruelty enacted upon unconsenting people, then it is okay for you to have a fetish, but perhaps you two are just not suited or on a more positive note you may be able to come to an agreement where you can explore this in ways approved by your partner.
I think my justification is if I can be less sensitive about it and it not affect me than it no longer matters, or try to see if he will get better over time. But I think it’s just because I’m scared to leave