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People look at people they are attracted to. Everyone does it. Hope this helps.
Insomnia can trigger all kinds of mental illness. This could have been anxiety or any other mental illness that causes mania.
Enough sleep deprivation can and will result in psychosis.
If she is struggling that much to sleep, consider melatonin before bed, try a whined down routine to get relaxed and ready for bed.
If she is still struggling to sleep, consider talking to a dr and maybe having a sleep study done.
In the moment, everything feels intense and real and like your world is falling apart. But it really is just the mania talking.
I was in the hospital a few months ago and between the hallucinations from the pain medications and the not sleeping because it’s a hospital, I spent one horrible night thinking the nurses wanted me dead.
But my logical mind knew that it was my lizard brain thinking these things and literally brought up a pros and cons list of why it was in the medical staff’s best interest that I survive and thrive. I sat in the dark between 1am and 6am convincing one half of my mind that it was having crazy thoughts because of the drugs and that it would all be ok.
I’m very thankful that I had the self awareness to be able to recognize the internal psychosis and I was able to ask for help and process it.
But sometimes we don’t recognize it in ourselves. My dad went through something similar, only he went off the rails nude. They put him on anti-psychotics while he was in the hospital. They had to restrain him to his bed so that he wouldn’t pull out his IVs.
Sleep deprivation is no joke. While my experiences may be completely different from yours, I hope you will take the time to at least check in on sleep quality to see if that can make an improvement.
Gaaaah… even as a PT teacher he is a total trainwreck!
You can’t focus on taking care of others unless you take care of your emotions first. Put the oxygen mask on yourself first so you can put it on your child and all that. That means you need to at least confront him, and I do suggest breaking it off completely. I’m just sorry you’re grieving two people at once and let me know if you need to talk or anything 🙁