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Model from: us
Languages: en,es
Birth Date: 2001-11-19
Body Type: bodyTypeThin
Ethnicity: ethnicityWhite
Hair color: hairColorBlonde
Eyes color: eyeColorGreen
Subculture: subcultureStudent
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This relationship was in its infancy, he owed her nothing, he handled it perfectly.
He didn't owe her honesty about where he was at or what he was looking for in a relationship?
This is a lie of omission. As a woman that lives in a city that people relocate from all the time, this is a pretty standard conversation to have. To not be honest about it? You're generally perceived by others as a liar. In the same way, someone might let a spouse know that their partner is unfaithful, I have 100% witnessed folks bring up the fact that one party is looking for work in other places or discussing relocation with bf/gfs.
It's a shitty thing to do and your telling on yourself and your ethics with your argument.
It isn’t up to her; You acquired and were approved by the court to have one in place because there are safety concerns. If nothing has changed on her end, then those safety concerns remain valid.
It is my experience that abusers rarely modify their behavior in any way that would warrant the removal of a restraining order/opp, as they are selfish, and see nothing erroneous about their behavior in relation to others; Power and control is their drug and they will do ANYTHING to get/keep their supply. That said, they are also notorious manipulators, in that they will temporarily show “positive” behaviors—either with the half-hearted intention to change or to get the victim to unwittingly agree to continued abuse.
So, essentially, staying with an abuser is giving tacit compliance. And in the end it will end the same: You being abused in both scenarios.
I’m sorry you’re suffering, but I hope this is helpful to you in some way.
Good luck.
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To me, it sounds like it's a sexual thing for him. Yes, he is getting off on this though, as in: incest. This man should never be left alone with any daughter he may have. He is not even trying to hide the fact this is sexual to him, and that is additionally alarming. Most meant like this are at least conscious enough to hide it.
My ex suggested opening up our relationship and – same as you – in that moment I lost respect and affection for him completely. For me there was no going back once the topic was raised. Hope you find an ok path through this.
I do think a therapist could definitely help. Seems like you may be prone to overthinking some things, which I definitely relate to, and therapists are great for validating feelings while helping you recognize irrational or illogical thought processes. I don't think you're stupid, you're still fairly young and figuring out how to navigate relationships isn't easy.
I think if you make sure to tell her that you don't want her to feel bad or guilty for spending time with her friends she'll hopefully take your word for that. Communicating that your intentions are purely to let her know what your current feelings are so that you can get support for working through it should ideally help her understand you're not upset at her, just being honest.
I will say that the jealousy isn't going to immediately go away and never come back. It can feel really bad, but it can also be a useful tool to help you recognize that you might have a need that's not being met. In this case I think that need may just be to feel secure in your relationship. Sometimes some folks also feel jealousy more frequently and strongly than others and need a little extra help to process those feelings.
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My gf and I still go clubbing on occasion. We're both 36 now and our friend is a promoter, so we get free entry and sometimes sit behind the DJ booth where they have cozy couches and tables. We don't drink on many occasions when we go and if we do, we don't drink a lot. Mostly go there to vibe, dance, and hangout (music isn't like it used to be, though, but that's just me being old). It's a nice little escape from reality, being around a lot of people, listening to music, dancing, dressing up, etc., but speaking of “hookup culture”, there has been a few instances where I'd go to the bathroom and I'd come back to see some dude hitting on her. Back when we were in our 20's, we'd go clubbing too, and it used to bother me. Nowadays, not really. If I see a dude hitting on my GF, like if I walk away or something, I just hang back. She's nice, but doesn't take things too far.
It certainly can be hookup culture. For sure. But it also can be a place to just have fun with friends. It's a spectrum and people just need to make wise decisions, overall.
Exactly. Like this was a violation on her and his part. OP, you can’t act as though your friend was a predator and that she was not complicit. I can’t understand her intention being to surprise you. And I feel like he may have taken advantage but they both crossed a line here.
You knew what his opinion was and you confirmed to him that you did something that you did not do. That's if you don't want to say it's a lie, it's still hidden. I have the same opinion with him about exs but so does my SO fortunately. Unfortunately, I think he lost his trust in you. I don't know what I could tell you to do, that depends on everyone. What I can tell you is to be patient with him and take it easy. The more you insist now, the more you will push him away. You show him that you care.
I’d look at La-z-boy if reclining is on the wish list. Had one a few years ago and it was heavy duty. Don’t know how the new stuff holds up, seems like everything is made to be disposable now.