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Just to make sure I understand: you can make yourself cum, and you can cum by using toys, but you can’t use toys during sex with him because “it’s too much of a hassle.”
I want to ask you what that means, but I have a pretty good guess: you tried using toys together maybe once, he was super weird about it, made no real effort to get into it or figure out how to use them on you, then made a big show about being “too tired.” Am I close?
Look, your boyfriend might be a decent guy in general, but he’s a shitty sex partner. The problem isn’t that he “can’t make you cum,” it’s that *he doesn’t really care if you cum or not.”
You’re young and inexperienced so you’re blaming yourself instead of acknowledging the obvious: he doesn’t care about your pleasure during sex.
You’ve told him what you need, made suggestions, done your part to make this happen. His response? Absolutely zero effort or even slightest indication that he gives a shit.
I’m an older lady in my 40s. Back in my dating days, I would never have slept with a guy twice if he behaved like this during sex. It’s not about “making you cum,” it’s about wanting it, being 100% game to follow suggestions and instructions, being invested in your pleasure.
My advice: tell you boyfriend you’re unhappy with your sex life and frustrated/hurt by his utter disinterest in your pleasure. Tell him this isn’t something you’re willing to live! with indefinitely. If he has the energy to fuck, he has the energy to get you off. No more sexy where your orgasm is treated like an annoying chore. No more acting like sex toys are “a hassle.” You cum first. Tell him to watch you make yourself cum so he can see what to do.
If he doesn’t to do any of this, my advice is to end the relationship. You’re far too young to rot away in a dead bedroom with some selfish dude who’s “too tired” to give a shit about his partner’s pleasure.
This made me so angry on your behalf! Wtf is wrong with this dude?!