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While thinking about the history and legacy of racism and how to improve our current state is admirable, that's not what she's doing. She hasn't learned how to move PAST race, just how to reshift how we judge people for it. She doesn't seem to believe in the sharing of cultures, she dismisses opinions on the basis of the person's race, not because the opinion is bad. No one should be thinking about race to this extent with this level of rigidity. She has so much person bias and a victim complex that she uses to obsolve her of blame. A person interested in solving racism doesn't look to others more than themselves. They examine their own flaws first. She hasn't done this. She's a hypocrite and very very mean. Stop dating her. Imagine you have kids with her one day and she tells them that their opinions on say Chinese culture aren't as valid because they are half white.
Someone using the language of social justice as means to be rude and dismiss people but disguise it as activism are genuine as bad as bigots, because St heart they are.
U think she’s been with others?
I am going to consult with a lawyer tomorrow. I appreciate this perspective. It is nude for me to understand as she is someone who has always been willing to take in any child in need. But I completely understand what you are saying about it being on her terms. Thank you for your insight and response.
it's fraud.
If I were you I would change my card info immediately and probably break up with ber and maybe even file a police report.
If they’re genuinely on the autism spectrum, you unfortunately will have to lay out what they are doing weird and why it is weird. People with autism either struggle with or straight up do not pick up social cues and hints… so any tactful pointers you attempt will likely be lost on them no matter how well you present it.
I would probably take them aside privately, out of the public eye so they don’t feel too scrutinized. Then simply get it out there, say you enjoy spending time with them but there are a couple things making you uncomfortable and ask if it’s okay to talk about it. Go into it prepared to coach them through finding an appropriate social response instead, because they will not just know what correction to make. Without the follow up it will not be a constructive interaction.
Dude if you love your family get a lawyer today, ask for 50/50 custody, and insist they stay within 30 minutes of you. You will get that easily as courts don’t want children moved away from 1 parent. If you love your kids as you say you do, insist on equal parenting time.
I've downloaded that book before at someone else's urging, and am currently reading through it. It's very informative and easy to read (it's not full of jargon). I don't even remember how I got the book, but after a breakup from a toxic relationship, it was something I needed. I'm understanding the need to heal in my own time, and barring any communication from my ex, I'll be alright.
drops off at 4 am by random men?
Sounds like you have more issues than the age gap.
does your bf have mental healthcare available to him?
Lots of good advice here, just wanted to ask if you know any of his family? Like are his parents in the picture and someone you could talk to about the situation. I say this because it’s possible they could help make sure he moves out, even if you haven’t talked to them much. If I had been in this situation at 25 and my gf explained what was going on to my mom, my mom would have made sure I left. My mom is kind of a bad ass and doesn’t put up with people’s shit, especially mine at that age. Just an idea. Couldn’t hurt to talk to them if they’re in the picture and halfway decent parents. Never know, they might help. Hang in there, you’ll get through this.
Hon, it doesn't matter if it's her ex or a barista or the guy rescuing surfers on Bondi Beach: she's not interested in you. She doesn't love you, she doesn't care about you, she's not interested, straight up.
Break up with her and go live! your best life.
Talk about it with a therapist if you need to (especially if it might help you words thing better), but definitely tell him.
You don't want this to come out and ruin your relationship later.
If it does ruin your relationship now, it's better than in 5 or 10 years with maybe a marriage and children to deal with.
“It’s not victim blaming” – proceeds to victim blame.
You’re a gross person. Be better.
It's always hilarious to me when people come on here and explain relationship ending scenarios and always ask, “what do I do”? I think you know exactly what needs to be done.
There's literally nothing to do. She's gone, or she was never there. You were an exciting fling but you can see where her heart is. The minute he's single again you're on the street. Don't wait to be the fool
Ok but maybe the commenter you just replied to didn't actually make that comment – maybe they spilt water on their keyboard as they were typing.
Did you even stop to think that?!
Thank you. I'm going to talk to him about this.
You married an emotionally immature child, I am sorry.
I won't surprise you by saying I believe it's something that can only be addressed by talking to her about how it impact your relationship. I think it's perfectly alright to let her know you feel like your relationship is secondary to her Instagram clout and makes you feel like you never have her full attention. You understand it's important to her, but you would like to have moments like dates without any social media involved so you can just enjoy your time spent together.
Now if she's indeed addicted to the endorphine spike with every like, you ain't gonna change her mind easily. This becomes a full medical issue we can't really talk about here. You're better off looking into social media addiction and how to bring your concerns to her. Keep in mind that it might be a tall battle to fight after only seven months together, you may want to get smaller victories first (or defeats that will let you illustrate your concerns). But I speak with all the authority of a random person on the internet.
Side note: I don't think “gaslit” is the right term here. Gaslighting is something really serious that can mess with your psyche big time, you just have a disagreement on what she should prioritize.
Nothing, if that's what he wants. But it's not what OP wants, and it's not what most women want in an adult partner. OP finds it weird, and it's definitely odd. It's not the norm. It sounds unhealthy, but whether it is or it isn't – it isn't what OP wants. So they shouldn't feel guilty about leaving that mess behind
Tinder swindler?
You might want to report your car stolen, so if she does anything stupid and/or wrecks it, your own ass is covered.
She isn’t treating you like a boyfriend, so it’s okay if you stop treating her like a girlfriend.
I promise you, it’s okay to stop now. You won’t change her, and you don’t have anything to prove to anyone. Please love yourself more than she does.
“Another day another unwashed ass.” ????
And they literally do not have to. They are allowed to keep a relationship with a person they’ve known and lived with. Fact is your gf is new and they won’t have the same relationship with her after less than a year. Frankly you should worry about the speed you’re moving with a baby and such after under a year instead of worrying about what your parents are doing
Go counseling because you need someone to help you with all the feelings and doubts you have!
We do not plan to have children or be in a committed relationship. I was just worried about the moral part .