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I think he is trying to catch you cheating…Recording you using your vibrator doesn't sound rational at all.
The problem is not that he couldnt be there for that day. He has to work, you have to be a grownup and accept it.
The problem is that he didnt offer any solutions. – baby I have to work on monday, but how about we go to a nice restaurant, picnic, hike, whatever you like and spend the day/few hours together?
You cant really expect him to take a day off just for your birthday (maybe he could, depends on the work) but you are justified to expect an effort from him. Make a cake for you, spend few hours with you an other day, or at least try.
The thing is, 2 months after this incident, i start questioning her more about this event,
Why?
You've been dating, what, 4 months? You're just getting to know each other, and there's no trust.
I don't think you're at risk. Your narrative suggests that you can you enjoy best-ever dates and godlike sex without losing perspective. As for the guy, I'd like to know more about the exchange you had with him over the Vegas episode. But, since it seems that he shrugged it off, I suspect that he accepts that you're a free spirit, and that this will not become a relationship in any meaningful sense. I only suggest that you be crystal clear about it.