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I had something similar to this—I (29F) started dating a guy (36M). He told me was still friends with his ex, but it was platonic. Whatever, didn’t love it, but who was I to put an end to his friendship that predated me.
Then I saw a notification from her on his phone that said “Always❤️” and I was like wtf. I should mention they talked everyday and he still had a photo of them on his IG where he referred to her as his girl—it was old, back when they dated.
I ended up snooping on his phone and saw how much they talked and a lot of it was about me—I saw them making jokes about me—“Does your gf still hate me and my dog ?” “yeah lmao”—so I lost it and told him two things: he could be friends with her or he could date me, but he couldn’t have both.
He ended up picking me and deleting the photo of them on IG and he deleted her off IG. I didn’t ask him to remove her from IG, but it’s nice that he did. He told her they couldn’t talk anymore and that was it.
Had he decided to remain friends with her, I would have exited the relationship. The only woman you should be second to in a relationship with a guy, is his mother. And even then, after due time, you should out prioritize his mother.
Gotta ask yourself if you're willing to feel like this for the rest of your life