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Olivia (dark hair) & Zoe (light hair), y.o.
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On-line Live Sex Chat rooms Olivia (dark hair) & Zoe (light hair)
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Your boyfriend verbally abuses you period.
It sounds like you're more hung up on who this guy was in high school than who he actually is.
It's been 10 years, he's not the same person you had a childhood crush on. That person no longer exists.
uh
Info: why isn’t she working?
Your wife? She's only twenty and you're twenty two. How long did you date before you got married? I'm not harping on traditional values, just asking if you saw any red flags prior to locking in.
Is this new behavior? If so, when did it begin? Moving to a new state is a big move, moving to a SECOND new state is HUGE move. Why did you spend so much money? Why didn't you go back to your first state when things didn't pan out in AZ?
I feel like there are a lot of unspoken things here.
Irregardless I wish you and your wife good luck.
This is called negging.
Negging is a form of emotional manipulation whereby someone insults you with a backhanded compliment to undermine your self-esteem and make you vulnerable to them, in which you crave for their approval.
It targets your insecurities with the intention of making you feel worse about yourselves in the hopes that they’ll get validation from you. You might think that because it’s not physical, it’s not abuse but negging is an act of verbal emotional abuse.
Over time, negging can damage your self-esteem and alter the way you live!. It can also spiral into severe mental health problems for the person on the receiving end.
Examples of negging;
They give you backhanded compliments
Any comment that blurs the line between an insult and a compliment is considered a backhanded compliment. These remarks are sometimes referred to as left-handed compliments or stealth insults.
For example:
“You can be so beautiful when you have makeup on!” “You look really good from far away.” “This dress is amazing! It makes you look so much thinner!”
They insult you under the guise of “constructive criticism.” Their criticism is not constructive but rather hurtful. It is a tactic that narcissists use to place themselves in the “chooser” role.
For example:
“You’d look better if you lose 10 pounds.” “I think you should know that your new haircut makes you look weird.” “I know you put a lot into writing this report, but it’s garbage.”
They compare you to others. This really matters when it is a comparison that makes you feel super gloomy and insecure. Whether the statement is true or not, you shouldn’t feel the need to compare yourself to anyone else, nor should your partner.
For example:
“Your best friend is in such a great shape. You should workout with her.” “Did you see Mary? I like what she’s wearing — you should try wearing stuff like that.” “You are just as funny as my ex today.”
They disguise insults as questions. They carefully word the question to make you feel super conscious and think that you’re making something out of nothing.
For example:
“I’m surprised you managed to finish that annual report. Who helped you with it?” “Not to be rude, but are you sure you’re going to finish all that food?” “Why don’t you wear something different?”
“You can be so beautiful when you have makeup on!” “You look really good from far away.” “This dress is amazing! It makes you look so much thinner!”
One of the simplest ways to respond to negging is to ignore and not engage in their pointless comments and conversation. If someone is attempting to evoke an emotional response from you, choose not to give it to them. It is also a waste of time to explain to someone that can not respect you. It is not your responsibility to change their abusive behavior.
However, if you are comfortable confronting them, you can make it clear to them that you are not okay with the way they are speaking or treating you. But take caution because they might then resort to more abusive behaviors, such as gaslighting, in response to your confrontation.
If you think it is safe and this person will be able to understand what you’re saying, you can possibly tell them something like, “your comments often make me feel humiliated and disrespected.” You should keep the focus on how the person’s actions are affecting you rather than starting with an accusatory statement and emphasize that their manipulative tactics won’t work on you.
Because negging often occurs early on in a relationship, it’s a major red flag for potential bad behavior to come. But, confronting someone who is negging you (especially if it's a repeated tactic) must be treated with care because they could have a negative reaction to being confronted and with you setting boundaries and expectations.
Updateme!
You're a tool, sorry if that's harsh, but she has you wrapped around her finger. Look at your dumbass consoling her when she is the one when wronged you. Break up with her and block her
I feel like you use your autism as an excuse or crutch per se. Being autistic has nothing to do with why she cheated on you. She would’ve done it regardless. Going through messages is a dangerous game. I don’t know what’s better, not knowing for sure or getting your feelings hurt. For me, I’d rather not know. It’s easier said than done but uh I think you should cut contact with this girl. She seems to use you as a door mat and doesn’t even treat you like a person.
I couldn’t say this any better so I’m just seconding everything you’ve said.
Why do you want to be with a person who has no respect for you and berates you because you dare to have opinions that differ from his? Once you moved in with him you gave him license to ramp his mess up because you ACCEPTED it. In his brain you’re okay with his mess. Look, this guy Will hector , badger and bully you to get his way, he’s a controlling bully. Get out now, please, it’ll only get worse. Good Luck.
She doesn’t need 8 months to process inappropriate messages that she should have immediately told you about.
Worst case scenario – she has been cheating on you. Most of the time that they are golfing, they probably aren’t golfing.
Best case scenario – she likes the sexual attention from her friend and they’re just flirting. Totally inappropriate and unacceptable. It will eventually lead to something more.
Out of respect for your relationship, she should go no contact with that friend. Out of respect for yourself, you should leave her and move on.
This has been one of the clearest thought process that entered my mind all day. Thank you.
Thank you, he's going to come with me to my appointments so at least I have some support. I'm nervous but I know it's the right decision.