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Never lend money you can't afford to lose.and drop his ass there is no reason to be supporting someone else's grown ass child
Both you and your wife need to realize that she did not cause this. Caffeine consumption daily and a little bit of alcohol did not cause your baby to be born early.
I had preclampsia and had to be induced a month early. (And I didn’t drink alcohol or much coffee when pregnant.) My son spent some time in the NICU, and now he is a 13 year old boy who is a grade ahead and doing well.
Breathe. Your baby is ok. Just be there for your wife and reassure her.
Don’t meet him! You already know what he wants from you (sex) and you’re in a vulnerable place. Keep your distance and look for friends your own age who are not going to push your “daddy” button.