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You can only do what you can do. The core of your decisions as you move forward should be what is best for you, IMO. What makes you happy. Whatever she may suggest/need should be ignored. My exwife would try to use sex to control me when our differences reached a breaking point.
No, other people certainly can build or knock down your self-esteem. Surround yourself with people that treat you respectfully to protect and build your self-esteem.
And go buy a vibrator for your partner OP.
There’s a good chance “dad vibes” could mean she’s teasing about having kids with you sooner than you intend