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Andrea, 25 y.o.
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I mean, if you’re fine with it, let her ?♀️. Everyone has different boundaries… but the fact that you asked here, tells me you are not fine with it. It’s cheating…. If she asked you if she could kiss another guy to see if she’s into him… would that be okay… I mean, if it was “only once”?
Nude to say. Since he's a boyfriend and not fiancee I'd almost say it's fair to split the rent. However if you want something that's equitable, I'd say split a percentage based on income. So currently my wife and I make about the same, so we pretty much put half of our income into a shared account for all costs. If you're making 5X what he is, maybe an 80/20 split would be fair. He takes care of 20% of the costs, and you take 80. Or something like that. Or hey, you put 1/3 of your income towards rent and shared expenses, he also puts 1/3 of his income into the same. Either way, he should contribute.
You’ve already been told how to politely communicate it like fifty times.
Go to the police. Get the process for grant of a restraining order started immediately.
Tell him you will return everything if he gives you everything you gave him (including the money) back and agree never to contact you in any way ever again.
I understand that you don’t have to give him anything back but I’m this instance I’d do it if only so you’re removing every trace of him from your life. Plus that way he can’t keep contacting you to demand “his” stuff back.
Feels like a win to me.
I feel like people are just missing the point. She wanted him to take the initiative. She wants to feel like he wants to marry her, not because she had to sit him down and tell him she wants to. Also, she clearly states she’s had serious conversations with him about marriage and that’s it’s important to her throughout their relationship. Her being upset that it’s only happening because she pushed for it is valid.