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I think the frog comment was more a comment on your behavior than your looks.
he said I looked pretty enough for him to kiss and have sex with me.
This could be a red flag or just a foot in mouth type comment. If these are the only two things in your relationship that you see as him putting you down, you're probably overreacting. If he says or does other things that make you feel insecure or put down, then you might want to walk away from this one.
Puppies belong to an absolutely different class of animal for most people than frogs, truly this is not a shocking thing to you. Frogs are considered so classically ugly that there are fables about having to kiss a frog as a horrifying thing. On the other hand, basically no one thinks puppies (or beans) are inherently ugly or gross.
There's been a lot of people who feel that frogs are cute, but it's certainly not a guarantee that someone who thinks frogs are cute will want to be told they “look like a frog”.
And OP even gets to the point: they could be compared to a frog for reasons like hopping around, or maybe having long legs or big eyes, but just saying someone looks like a frog overall is simply rude. And everything around her expressing that he hurt her feelings just underlines that he's an asshole; if he sincerely meant it was a compliment, he'd just apologize for the confusion and try to explain himself.
I am white (so you know from which side my perspective comes) and this sounds at least icky.
It sounds as if races were collectibles. You are a person. The third person is an individual person. I don't think that this is an okay statement.
And even if he just didn't think much about it and was just like “haha we would be so interracial wouldn't that be fun” i still think it is racist and reduces both of you to your skin colour.
If you think you have the energy to tell him, that what he said has very racist implications, you could do that and watch his reaction.
This is at least a first red flag and you should watch out whether he puts in the work to educate himself or just raises more concerns.
i mean i dont expect that of her, but this is something that is currently happening. like they are actively treating me poorly its not just something in the past. so at the very least i would hope if they are talking about me in private she would stick up for me. she also tells me about their words/behavior so she knows about it its not just second hand info. in her words she sees it as a flaw that shes willing to look past to be friends with them. i personally dont have anything against these people-they just have something against me. ive tried to be civil in public and move on so to speak but i really hate having to see it on social media and in person it just kind of feels like a slap in the face. thats just my thoughts/feelings though. from what ive heard, rachel and carley (these are fake names btw) have backstabbed other friends as well and they kind of have a track record for that and being clique-y so im just too old for it..anyway thats all just wanted to clarify :/
Yeah… I had a friend like that. A couple of them, actually. Cut her off now. Delete. Delete. Delete.
I would be concerned about the language. I’ve only heard “beta male” from on-line misogynists. My husband was raised in his grandparents’ home, so he’s been taught that men provide (working on that) and women cook/clean (oddly enough, he does most of the housework). He doesn’t use that kind of language, though, and he doesn’t run from women’s products.