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Kayla, 21 y.o.
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Have you been in a situation where you don't feel appreciated, and then it turns out the person did appreciate you but never mentioned it unless you asked?
it would be very helpful if you could give me actual advice instead of a judgement.
OP needs to establish appropriate boundaries if she has not already. No means no. Then next time it happens, have a conversation with HR. And, save all the flirty texts in order to back up your story.
The other thing you need to really ask yourself is this – if you get back to a compromise now is he going to stay there? He's already shown you he changes his mind about a pretty critical agreement you had. And assuming you'd change your mind (as though you are irrational or not strong in your convictions) makes me wonder what else he's assuming will change. I don't feel like I could trust future plans with him
i wouldn’t perform well either with this kind of pressure he’s creating.
So why didn’t OP propose? If it was that important to her?
My brother in Christ, this marriage is over.
Allow me to rehash this issue, in more neutral terms for you, so you can see it objectively:
Your jobless wife blames you for working too much, accuses you of being unable to emotionally satisfy and support her because you are gone all day putting a roof over head and food on her plate, and has moved another man into the emotional role of partner. When you expressed discomfort with this objectively-fucking-shady behavior and arrangement with said other man, instead of doing anything at all to accommodate your feelings on this subject, she gaslights you about not trusting her while lying to you about still hanging out with the other man.
She is for the streets, fam. One way bus-pass back to her mama’s house.
he changed his passwords about 5 months ago and i didn’t really think anything of it
Sounds like a good trick. Wow u might be the most understanding sister in history. Id be pissed. At that age u should know not to do that imo. Also, 7 yrs is still a big age gap at those ages. At that age, my rule was no more than 4. Honestly, ur sister should face consequences, if shes always babied, she wont learn. I wouldve already blown up at both of them & it mightve ruined relationship with my sister forever & for sure break it off with him by telling him to get fucked!
I really think you need to leave as soon as possible. He's responsible for looking after himself and you're not doing anything wrong in wanting to leave/leaving. It sounds like getting out of there is the best option for you and I would probably recommend therapy to help you work through some of this.