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Mari) https://twitter.com/pisyath, 27 y.o.
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Omg I couldn’t put up with this for 8 days let alone 8 years. Absolutely not. You realize you need to end this relationship and get some space for yourself. Anything that you have going on mentally and emotionally will never be solved staying in a relationship. You need a therapist, and I doubt you’re going to get time to go to a therapist alone. But someone specialized in dependency, enabling, and experienced with abuse victims. Do this for yourself. This is abuse. It’s psychological and emotional abuse. This behavior is so unhealthy and this as a whole is literally suffocating for you. Please don’t sink more time and energy into him. He’s not going to change, but you can get out and have freedom.
Abuse is abuse – gender is irrelevant. Do you have somewhere safe to go and take your child with you?
If you have doubts about whether this is abuse, imagine someone you care about in your shoes. Would you consider the behavior abusive? What advice would you give them? I’m guessing you wouldn’t advise them to keep quiet and put up with it.
Whether you leave her or not if your decision, but her escalating actions show she’s getting bolder and doesn’t feel like there will be consequences.
This is an outstanding answer.
You are overthinking it.
Your feelings are important, but if you know Hockey is very important to him, why expect him to sacrifice it? You were not in a dangerous situation so that may be the reason why he did not take it that seriously.