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1. so I'm former military, and i know of a few military marriages that are still going strong today 22 & 31 years later. it is EXTREMELY rare in general to see marriages last this long ESPECIALLY in the military.

   now, as a man i want my relationship/home life/partner to bring me peace and be my sanctuary. if i don't get it t home I'm going to find it elsewhere. personally I'd just go out and have sex to get out some aggression. it sounds like your husband just talks to her because he can speak with a female at peace and not have any issues/drama with her.

   now, re: those military marriages that have outlasted most have done so by following two rules. the 31 year marriage husband and wife said don't go to bed angry. if there's a problem talk about it. if he's super tired don't bother him to resolve the issue right when it's brought up, he has to have time to figure it out (venting about the problem should hold you over til he can talk the next day after work)

   both wives in the 31 and 22 year marriage said ” 'keep his balls empty and belly full' he won't make/find time or talk to anyother woman because he get everything he wants from you.”

   the 31 marriage husband said that early on, when he was young and dumb he would flirt with other women but didn't think anything of it because it was flirting and wouldn't let it go anywhere. the wife found out and then they began to roleplay as in she'd pretend to be the girl he flirted with and act out scenarios and have sex. which improved their sex life after she had their second child.

   TLDR- you can keep doing what your doing and hope it'll work out, or you can try what two decades long successful military marriages have done

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