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Patricia (18) & Patrik (22), 18 y.o.
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Divorce him
If this has been going on for 5+ years and he's made no effort to listen or change, I'm sorry to say, he probably never will. He doesn't respect you or care enough about you to put in the effort to make sure you feel good about yourself after sex. As therapy requires a level of effort that he doesn't seem to have a desire to make, I suggest you break up with him. No guy who makes you feel bad about yourself is worth it.
Sometimes, love doesn't conquer all.
I got that advice I've when I was crying about a man, saying the same thing you're saying in this post. “I don't know what to do about this awful, unwinnable situation but I love him.”
That man is a liar and a manipulator and is raising a new generation of sociopath. I know you love him, he did that on purpose. That love is not for him, that love is for the act he played for you.
Those two are toxic, please get out ASAP.