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Just telling him I'd like him to make more effort to be considerate of my feelings on the type of things hasn't changed his behavior,
This is the kind of behavior a person learns in their childhood. How is his relationship with his parents? is he an only child?
You lose weight for you my dear and no one else. If you were happy within yourself already and you didn't have any serious health problems then you don't need to change a thing.
It would be better for your mental health if you dropped the boyfriend weight instead but it's your life ? I wouldn't want to be with someone that claims to love me but would rather avoid me then come and communicate with me.
Honestly sounds like he's moved on, sorry. But no reason that you can't be friends. If you truly have your heart set on getting back together, then just being a good friend, being honest, and not trying to put pressure into it is the way to go. Overall, breath, you got this
Are they different? How are they different?
Here’s the interesting part though. He looks 35, is very healthy, has a perfect body, very active, plays sports, surfs etc. He acts younger than me and is a boy at heart. No kids. Lives by the beach alone, and works remotely. His friend group are the friends he’s stayed with since high school and they all look young (even with kids) and surf, have creative jobs etc.
I don’t go out to bars or clubs, I work on my business, I enjoy being outdoors and I don’t have social media. We are both very similar in our lifestyle choices, and that’s why we are together. We both enjoy a simple, quiet, non-superficial/materialistic life. He has the sexuality/libido of a 21 year old.
Problem is, he just depends on me entirely to solve any problem that comes up in the relationship and it becomes draining for me, and ultimately a turnoff at times. He complains if we are not sexual enough, and then when I come up with solutions and do research on how to spice things up, then I when I chat to him about it, I get very little response. So, he has a problem, doesn’t want to find a solution, I find the solution, then he goes cold. It’s just confusing and I’m wondering if this is normal or if I should be concerned. I just want him to take the lead and make decisions, without relying on me solve every single problem.
I think we’re making excuses because she’s put in the work.
You’re experience isn’t universal and by actively giving advice to a guy in an emotionally volatile position to just leave the person who chose to stay and work on herself because she’s bad for even having emotions stinks of both ignorance and cowardice. Just because you are willing to throw in the towel at the first sign of resistance doesn’t mean everyone is. Again, this attitude is very much “thinking bad thoughts makes you a bad person” vibes which is whole heartedly not true.
At the very least, if I was OP or sincerely giving this advice to a friend, you need to treat the person you have been with as a human with flaws and give them the same courtesy they showed you. Stop trying to gave a black and white answer to things that are extremely nuanced and varied.
If she was actually sorry she would be completely transparent with you. She's sorry, but shebis still hiding things from you, which means she's done way worse and she knows once you find out, you won't forgive her. So if she's not willing to be 100% transparent with you, then you should just leave.
Existing in “what is” instead of “what ought to be” would save people a lot of heartache. She’s 25 and it’s time to she takes control of her own life. Can’t blame your parents for everything forever
She didn't introduce the kid, the kid was with her when they met organically. That one is not on her. A friend met her fiance and his dad at the same time. Cause they were painting her house. Cause they worked together. Does not mean she was introduced to his dad early in the relationship.
That's not why I got married.
So your parents interfered with your wedding, but it's fine your brother doesn't include you. Sounds like he is the golden child.
He gets off on patronizing you. It’s why he chose someone 10 years younger.
I was feeling a little sympathetic to you right until I read this comment.
He lost interest, it happens to the best of us. Just respect his decision and move on. Showing up unattended on his work break and chasing him on social media is not helping either. You are coming off as creepy and stalkery.
Time for a TRO.
Shall I give him a dose of his own medicine or ignore him I never wrote back to his comment I didn’t even entertain it
Energy Vampire.