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Ask him out, who cares.
You are supposed to be a team, so of course he should be helping.
Not everyone shares your opinion. Not everyone thinks you're correct. The “innocence of children” argument doesn't carry weight with everyone.
Exactly
Do not comfort her. She should be comforting and reassuring you right now. You didn't cheat, she did. You didn't call your marriage into question, she did.
This is not you being homophobic or unsupportive about her sexuality. This is not you being mean about her wanting to spice things up. This is you have a very normal reaction to being cheated on by your spouse.
She should be groveling right now and proving to you that she's still worth trusting and spending the rest of your life with. This whole thing was so incredibly manipulative, from bringing it up the first time in the middle of foreplay to refusing to see it as cheating when she knows damn well if Ashley were Adam there would be no gray area. She has a lot of work to do, on herself and for her marriage.
Not sure if that helps as married couples are a unit in most countries.
He sustained that he cannot cheat again, but the only way to gain your trust will be by him not doing the wrong thing. I would find a way to go with him to this meetings, saying something like you want to learn the language too, and making this whole thing something of the both of you.
Ex's aside, your gf is seemingly against you having any female friends in general. Does she not have male friend?
It seems she is an insecure person, so if you were to be together you should come to terms with not being friends with anyone that could make her uncomfortable. As non-sensical as it might at times be.
Not the healthiest idea, maybe you really should move on. She too would likely benefit from more “experience” of how relationship usually works.
Piss him off, he is either ashamed of his friends or ashamed of you. Or his relationship with them is not what he says. Who the hell needs that.
Your wife didn’t have A affair she had 2 affairs at a minimum resulting in 2 kids that her and Jim both knew weren’t yours. They lied for the past 8 years and continued this charade. Shout this from the rooftops and make him step up and pay back child support.