I (38F) am in a new relationship (51M) and his texts are starting to concern me.
9KMy current boyfriend and I have been together since February and we've had a few arguments but generally things are good. What I can't wrap my head around our some of the text messages that he sends me. They come out of nowhere and feel a little nuts to me. I don't know if I'm the one being a jerk here but I don't know what to make of them. I've told him it puts me off but he doesn't seem to hear me.
This is an example of one he sent today after he video called at lunch. I answered but he hung up and wouldn't answer when I called back. I left a message saying I guess he didn't have service and couldn't answer but just call back if it's important.
His reply was “What would b the point in answering after seeing u are dressed make up on and hair done? That tells me u have been up for hours and in that time I guarantee that ur phone has been in ur hand a lot and never once did u have the desire or want to call or text and say hello good morning I love u or even fuck off for that matter. And that makes me feel like shit to b real honest. So I didn't answer. ”
5 minutes later I got this “And because you still have nothing to say, that just tells me I was right”
This kind of thing is getting more frequent. I feel like it's kind of excessive but he says it feels like I don't love him. I don't even know how to respond honestly.
Update: I packed a bag, my laptop, gun, important paperwork, etc. Most of my stuff is in storage because we were supposed to move at the end of the month. I didn't want to leave him there but his texts got really ugly when I told him it was over. I feel a lot safer at my friend's house out of town. The barrage of texts have gone from nasty to desperate to accusing me of lying and never caring about him to him taking photos of gifts he supposedly bought me to threatening to hurt himself and me. Apparently I'm ” not giving a shit about it but here I sit trying to fucking talk to you and work this fucking thing out because I care more about you than I do the lies. I love u D. Why can't that b enough for u”.
I'm SO done with this bullshit. It's probably going to be naked trying to get him out of my life but I'm saving the texts and going to (at least try) get a protective order tomorrow. Thank you all for your comments; they reaffirmed that this behavior is unacceptable. I think I kept adjusting to a “new normal” every time he would do something that was off but not quite bad enough to break up over. We had endless talks about his behavior and he was very good at reassuring me he'd work on it and then being the best boyfriend imaginable. It's like he's two different people but I'm positive the nice side is an absolute lie now after some of the stuff he said. I'm safe for now and definitely won't be going home without an escort.
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