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Throwing the food on the ground? That’s literally how my two year old acts.
Have fun ruining your relationship and this man’s self esteem.
I wonder if their is anyway she could refinance so the insane interest goes away
They sound pretty damn rude and blatant about it. Since they act different during their alone time with you, you may be able to talk to them separately about this. But I would also strongly consider changing room mates.
From a practical perspective she has her own very complicated life and it's not her job to be attuned to your emotional state or your emotional needs. To be frank, dealing with depressive people is mentally and emotionally exhausting for a lot of people and in some cases people sometimes have to step back from them for a bit before re-engaging. Don't overanalyze her reactions or behavior. Everyone is just trying to get along as best they can.
if you feel like you have the capacity, then sure, you can tell him that its come to your attention that his behaviors do not align with safe, ethical BDSM and instead fall into SA territory. As such, you want nothing to do with him and he needs to leave you alone. Do this via text/message. Dont break up with or confront him in person. Do not engage in an argument with him. State your piece and then block him. If you know any real kinksters in your area, tell them what you experienced so he can be avoided.
Lastly, if you feel up to it, consider reporting him to the police. In legal terms, things get even messier than usual regarding SA when BDSM is involved, however, simply filing a report will get him on their radar and start building a paper trail should a future women need help. Obviously, this is completely at your discretion and you need to do whats best for you rn.