My (31F) fiancé (36M) doesn’t want to invite his SIL to our wedding because ‘she has feelings for him’ when its more the other way around
8KMy fiancé, Will, has a younger brother Charlie (34M) and he is married to Evie (33F). Evie is a beautiful woman both inside and out, she is one of the nicest people I've ever met and is an amazing and supportive friend. Perhaps the best friend I've ever had. Will, Charlie and Evie went to school together. Charlie and Evie have been together for 20 years, they married pretty much straight out of high school. During their time at school, Will and Evie went on one date before she started dating Charlie. Will had been hounding her for a date and she eventually said yes to try and make Charlie jealous as she liked him but didn't think he felt the same way – yes completely aware this is ridiculous but Evie was 13 at the time. Evie told me about this date pretty early on, she had wanted me to know in case I thought she had feelings for Will. She made it every clear that she's never had romantic feelings for Will and that she just used him for that one date to make Charlie jealous. I do know that Will had feelings for Evie and from what he's said that he's stopped having them since we've been together.
Will and I are currently in the process of planning our wedding for next summer. We've been putting together a list of who we want to ask to be apart of the wedding party and who we want to invite to the wedding. I want to have Evie as one of my bridesmaids because I know she will be supportive and reliable. Will frowned and told me that he wasn't planning on Evie being part of the wedding. I asked if he had a falling out with Charlie and wasn't inviting him either as they're a package deal as a married couple. Plus there is no way one would attend without the other. He replied that he hadn't fallen out with his brother but he couldn't see himself getting married with Evie there as according to him she still has feelings for him and he wouldn't want her to ruin our day. I know for a fact that she doesn't. I asked him if she had confessed feelings or something. He said no, but it's the way she is with him. He gave examples like how she's always around our house (Evie and I run together 3 times a week, as I online closer to her work she comes to ours to change instead of going home), how she'll make his favourite dessert when we celebrate Christmas at theirs (his birthday is Christmas Eve), how she does little thoughtful things like dropping off baked goods for us or how she takes an interest in things he is interested in (the three of them support the same football team). To me, none of this is Evie showing she has romantic feelings for him, she's just being a good friend. I told him this but he is insistent on not inviting Evie to the wedding. I know that if Evie isn't invited, Charlie won't attend and it will snowball further as the family are really close but it will look like I'm the one causing this.
I reached out to Evie after the conversation with Will, and I asked her to be honest with me if she had any sort of romantic feelings for Will. At first Evie laughed at the idea of her having any sort of feelings for Will. She then admitted that until I met Will he had made her uncomfortable but it had lessened since we got together 2 years ago. She explained that Will would make comments about how they were more suited than her and Charlie. He used to send her drunk messages about how they belonged together. She told me that Charlie knew about the messages and they had pulled themselves away from Will during that period but only allowed him back in when I started dating him. I asked her if he had sent her anything like that since we'd been together. Evie went quiet on the phone before saying that he had sent her a message at the weekend when Will, Charlie and some of their friends had gone out drinking. She had cancelled on running this week, but hadn't given me a reason and it turns out that she is avoiding Will. Charlie also hasn't been talking to his brother since the night out because of the message. She sent me the message and it was very explicit. He told her that he wished he was the father of her child, Evie's pregnant with their 4th child, and not Charlie and how he'd be a better dad than Charlie could ever be.
I'm not sure what to do. I love Will and he is convinced that Evie has feelings for him when she's made it clear that she does not. I thought Will had moved on but he's now sending Evie messages. Is there anything I can do or is the relationship just doomed?
TLDR: Fiancé doesn't want his SIL to be invited to the wedding, says its because she has feelings for him. Turns out he has feelings for her and has started sending her messages again saying that he loves her and they belong together.
Edit: Not that it makes anything better, Will was 15 when they had the date. Evie is 6 months younger than her husband, she's 34 next month. I've told Will that we need to talk when he comes back from taking his mum to an appointment this morning – its nothing serious just taking her to get new glasses but she needs the help as she's got mobility issues. I think he knows I want to talk about Evie as he asked if it was about Evie and the wedding. I said yes and he sighed before telling me we would discuss it when he comes back. I'm gonna put together a weekend back so I can leave quickly if needed. I've text Evie and Charlie to tell them I'm going to talk to Will about his behaviour because it needs to change and he needs to realise that nothing will ever happen with Evie. Charlie responded wishing me luck and has said their house is open to me if I need it. He also apologised for me having to go through this as they shouldn't have stuck their heads in the sand about this hoping it would go away. I know I should have brought this up after she told me but I'm very non confrontational and will try and avoid an arguement if I can.
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