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Sounds to me like he’s showing you love how he would like to be shown. My husband is just like yours. He wants hugs and kisses, to be told I love him unprompted and he wants passion during sex. I, on the other hand, want to be shown love by him doing things to make my life easier that lets me know he pays attention to my daily needs/wants and is thinking of me (like him preparing my coffee in the morning is his equivalent to a hug)
Are you doing these things? Or as your post suggests are you only doing it prompted? As partners it’s our responsibly to get out of our comfort zone learn and know how our partner wants to be loved and do that for them. So if you’re never saying I love you on your own or just going and hugging him or initiating physical intimacy (no just sex as I do feel sex should never be done solely for the other person) then this is most likely your big issue. In the same breath if you’re trying to communicate to get straightforward answers and he refuses to discuss it’s either bc he’s said it a million times and is tired or he expects you to just read his mind. If it’s the latter that’s also not good. Counseling may help if you find communicating through issues is a problem.
Don't sit on the fence mate, tell us what you really think
I didn't post on AmITheAsshole last I checked. Also, my brother CALLED ME and asked me to help with the check in, I didn't sweep in like a control freak.
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A 4th chance? Are you an idiot or insane because you doing the exact definition of insanity “Doing the same thing over and over and over expecting a different result”.
Let this be the last time you do shopping for her whether she pays you back or not.
i’m not going, and it’s not because he said not to go but because i’m genuinely not in the mood to go after everything that’s happened
That's what he wanted. I'm sorry he ruined it for you. I was married to a guy like that and all I will say is, I am much happier without him.
Flip this around, why should he stay with you? 5 years together and you never mention love for him, and there doesn't appear to be a huge amount of respect.
So, show him this post and maybe he'll initiate the break-up, he should given everything you've written here. If you respect him as a friend, you should do this but I have $10 that says you won't.
Is this your first duty station and are you on the sub force or surface ships?
If you want to travel that side of the world, this is the time to do it. However, I hate to be that person who tells you this, but you probably won't have as much travel time as you think you will. Your life will be the boat, qualifications, will literally consume 95 percent of your time. Then you have sea trials and grooming to do for deployments. It's not really all roses and butterflies because you are in a new place.
When you deploy, yeah you will visit the Pacific but it's not like you're going to be granted leave once a month to go travel the world.
This is a decision you will have to make, and it's on only you can make. Just beware your girlfriend will probably not stick around when there is a 12 hour time difference and a $1500 flight.