When people cheat repeatedly with different random people, they do so because they see their partner as a weak person who won’t leave.
Your instinct to “try therapy before anything else” is exactly why she will keep doing this. Try something else first- something that affects her. Right now, you absorb the shock and emotional labor and struggle- nothing bad is happening to her. She knew everything and didn’t confess through tears. She has no significant guilt.
Consequences for her now. Or just know, after you’ve spent the next 18 months struggling to “process” this, she’s going to have her ankles behind her head again with another work or gym hookup.
I agree. There are other factors of our relationship that stood out to me as not ideal. Even more so when I came to understand the true size of the debt.
If that's what you are thinking during sex one of you is doing it wrong.
This.
you shook his hand. he took that as being friend zoned
When people cheat repeatedly with different random people, they do so because they see their partner as a weak person who won’t leave.
Your instinct to “try therapy before anything else” is exactly why she will keep doing this. Try something else first- something that affects her. Right now, you absorb the shock and emotional labor and struggle- nothing bad is happening to her. She knew everything and didn’t confess through tears. She has no significant guilt.
Consequences for her now. Or just know, after you’ve spent the next 18 months struggling to “process” this, she’s going to have her ankles behind her head again with another work or gym hookup.
You deserve better.
I agree. There are other factors of our relationship that stood out to me as not ideal. Even more so when I came to understand the true size of the debt.
Their age gap is the gap between her and 30, I don't think this gap is that bad.