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Model from: it
Languages: en,it
Birth Date: 1998-06-26
Body Type: bodyTypeThin
Ethnicity: ethnicityWhite
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You have the right read on this situation
theres no reason why the issue of weight has to be comingled with weight loss. talk to her about her weight separately, if you tie weight to marraige there WILL be an issue
away from home and away from it
reluctant to express feelings, shy away from dating, doubting sanity
he (and you) doesn't have a chance to have a good relationship
you won't have a partner problem because you're a woman,
I’m in denial and there’s been other smaller examples in the past of this behavior. Either way, what do you guys think? Is this just a heated argument or is this concerning?
You're in denial if you don't think this is behaviour that straight-up necessitates either immediate apology and therapy, or stopping seeing this guy.
Physical behaviour like this is inexcusable unless there's some fundamentally essential background to explain it. It goes without saying you can't go around breaking people's stuff like that – it's property damage if nothing else.
You're both meant to be adults, you don't need “punishment”, there's no reason he can't vent frustrations verbally and talk things out and not go round hitting things.
What happens when it's not the TV he hits next time? Will you be accepting his “punishment” and agree it's clearly your “own fault”?
Someone who can't control their anger and justifies their actions has no place in your life – don't excuse it, accept the behaviour and draw a line in the sand on if you're prepared to stomach this and he'll end this behaviour and victim blaming or it's gone too far.
More evidence that money doesn’t buy manners or class.
Thats not meant to be insulting, OP. Im guessing you weren’t raised in great wealth. Hopefully not poor but just had a normal upbringing.
Your guy Im going to guess, was raised around money and I say that because you just described people I know that were born into wealth.
When you said he just brushes it off, that makes me almost certain. To you, these places are sophisticated, there’s a certain formality to it. Let me break it down like this:
Old money, generational wealth, acts like you would. There’s a formality to it all.
New money or 2nd generation wealth act like they own everything, tend to treat service workers poorly etc. The old money people just distance themselves. They are literally above it. Where you feel embarrassed they disassociate because the new money people aren’t them.
So you get left embarrassed but no one else is. The Old money don’t care and the New money act the same way so a girl like you in the midst of it all just wants to leave.
My advice is you’re gonna have to get used to this. Its not going to get better. Maybe some Old money person knocks him down at some point but that’s what it will take and you might be waiting awhile.
Knowing he keeps acting like this, maybe consider not going to these high end places with him. Choose nice but more middle of the road places where this behavior is more normalized so you don’t feel uncomfortable.
Ok, so she needs constant reassurance and validation of her self-worth from the world at large.
That’s kind of concerning.
I’m going to echo some of @finallifeguard8353 but from a more pessimistic point of view.
One – the men most likely to compliment random teenage women in the grocery store are the creeps. These are not the people I would build my sense of self worth on. In fact, your gf should be relieved that the men who hit on 16 year olds at the grocery store are no longer targeting her.
Two – your sense of self worth is something that needs to be internal. If you need constant validation from the outside world, you’ll always be chasing it, but you’ll never be satisfied.
Three – Your self worth needs to be founded on more than “I am young and very hot.” Those things don’t last, and they’re always judged relative to other people anyway – and there will always be someone younger and hotter.
Hopefully she can grow out of it but she’s going to be very unhappy and erratic as long as she continues to chase this kind of validation.
Troll
… so your problem is that she can’t handle your half of the expenses? you make 270k (i am assuming dollar?) and you can’t afford to have someone living with you for free? bro. you can Downton Abbey fulls of maids with that kind of money.
just say it. you do not think she is good enough to continue dating you. break up with her and ends her misery already. clearly you never have any intention to marry her.