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So you’d be ok with your husband or know your wife would be ok with having a lap dance with a lesbian woman?
there is a lot missing from the story. if your sister is legitimately suicidal she needs inpatient help. not a sleep over. your husbands reaction indicated that this has happened somewhat often in the past, or he has trauma from either her or someone else in this situation. there isn’t a clear offended party here and it seems like a complex issue that needs a higher level of care than reddit users with cherry-picked information.
If you trust your GF, I don't see the issue. She isn't responsible for how someone else chooses to behave.
My partner has herpes. She told me before sex ever happened and before we even got together officially. We talked about her medication and how it works to prevent outbreaks.
Unprotected is minimal, and never during a break out, and I get tested semi regularly, just in case.
I would never trust someone who only told me after having unprotected sex. That's not trustworthy behaviour.
What part of the world are you in? This may be a cultural gap.
I’m speaking from the US. If this was happening with one of my friends, my first question would be who the heck was supporting her before you met, and why can’t she fund her own needs? It sounds like you’re being taken advantage of.