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Well since the SIL doesn't know about your sobriety, it isn't fair to hold those feelings you have over her inviting you when she doesn't know your situation. Also, there are many ways your bf can support you without stopping all his drinking. When I go on special diets cuz of medical issues, I don't force my bf to also go on those special diets. It's my problem alone and it's wrong for me to change how the whole household lives their lives just cuz of me. Your bf can support you by encouraging you not to drink and to have your back if someone tries to peer pressure you into drinking. He can come to your defense if someone tries to start a drinking game with you or gives you grief for denying a drink.
You mean your boyfriend is a selfish lover? And he doesn't listen when you try to talk about it? And gets mad if you talk to someone else about it? And you want to regain this dope's trust because of this betrayal? I don't think you're the problem here.
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Make a plan!!
No, people can not change. This is not worth your time.
You deserve better.
Please end this, tell her to piss off, and never contact you again.
Id say, see how it plays out. See how she is with her new guy friends. See if she bats off their advances. If she doesnt, stand your damn ground. Yes there is insecurity lurking here, but its understandable to an extent, you dont want new guys trying to get to her, but you gotta atleast *try* and trust her, as nude as it may be. Here's how you will get your answer to what you should do with this relationship. If she doesnt bat away advances of other guys, call her out, tell her its totally disrespectful and that you dont deserve it, because you shouldn't take that type of unfaithful crap, nobody should in a commited relationship. If she DOES bat away guys advances, congrats, you got someone loyal and you need to work over the insecurity of other guys coming onto her. Personally I dont like her actions so far, she sounds like a total cow with how you've described her, but i dont know her personally, and i know how it feels when you dont want to lose someone. You may not know it but the ball is in your park right now, dont fuck it up, dont let your feelings get the better of you or you will regret it and feel responsible, take a deep breath and have some optimism that she will be loyal 😀 If she isnt loyal? Then have some self respect and let HER walk away from a relationship because of unfaithful actions.
It'll all be ok OP, just relax a little and dont let your feelings control the situation.
This man is not mentally/emotionally healthy. He did you a favor. Consider yourself lucky and move on.