No you didn't mess up. This type of information should be shared with partners, when you are ready to share.
But it seems imo that he was just overall not ready for a relationship. He had basically a breakdown over work stress while on a vacation leading him to be frantic and eventually crying. It could also be that once you mentioned your past trauma, he didn't feel he could be supportive in the way that you need. Just from that brief bit you mentioned it seems he has some form of high anxiety at minimum.
I don't think your past abuse history was a factor in itself. I think what it might have done is brought up other worries in his mind. His mind is already the racing type and he probably overthought the situation to death. Probably for the best that you didn't end up with him.
This. They might be old. His reaction was odd but maybe just because he didn't realize you would think he cheated because you found them. Maybe he didn't apologize cause there was nothing to apologize for and his train of thought didn't last long enough to get why you are upset.
That said this is giving him the benefit of the doubt and the opposite could be very much true but the condoms alone aren't enough of a reason to assume he cheated
This applies to both genders. If you're still in the bar/nightclub/party/EDM phase of your life and are into partying till the AM 3+ nights a week, you're not ready to get married.
Someone who thinks something is a “potential deal breaker” when they have been with you and the “deal breaker” has been present all along…. They just are looking for excuses to not commit.
This isn't a deal breaker otherwise he wouldn't have been sticking around for 6 years. This is just an excuse and honestly a cruel one.
You are dating a girl. Find a woman.
Your boyfriend is NOT sweet.
Come on. It's a disaster waiting to happen. One day he won't have “stuff” to break and you'll just be there for that. Do NOT move in with him.
No you didn't mess up. This type of information should be shared with partners, when you are ready to share.
But it seems imo that he was just overall not ready for a relationship. He had basically a breakdown over work stress while on a vacation leading him to be frantic and eventually crying. It could also be that once you mentioned your past trauma, he didn't feel he could be supportive in the way that you need. Just from that brief bit you mentioned it seems he has some form of high anxiety at minimum.
I don't think your past abuse history was a factor in itself. I think what it might have done is brought up other worries in his mind. His mind is already the racing type and he probably overthought the situation to death. Probably for the best that you didn't end up with him.
To clarify though… I am single, which means no one is buying my girlfriend a gift. Maybe I'm being selfish, but I'm surprised that is an expectation.
This. They might be old. His reaction was odd but maybe just because he didn't realize you would think he cheated because you found them. Maybe he didn't apologize cause there was nothing to apologize for and his train of thought didn't last long enough to get why you are upset.
That said this is giving him the benefit of the doubt and the opposite could be very much true but the condoms alone aren't enough of a reason to assume he cheated
So yeah. Talk to him
Time to move on
This applies to both genders. If you're still in the bar/nightclub/party/EDM phase of your life and are into partying till the AM 3+ nights a week, you're not ready to get married.
Good. Iām proud of you for recognizing that.
Thank you, I thought I was going crazy reading how common this practice is. I don't plan on keeping my mom's toenail clippings after she passes lol.
Someone who thinks something is a “potential deal breaker” when they have been with you and the “deal breaker” has been present all along…. They just are looking for excuses to not commit.
This isn't a deal breaker otherwise he wouldn't have been sticking around for 6 years. This is just an excuse and honestly a cruel one.
What country do you live in?
Take the job. It's short term so you can easily do long distance.