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You don't sound like you're leading her on. She seems comfortable with you as friends and some friends might cuddle. That being said if it escalates any further from thst, you should make sure to mention that you value her friendship and don't want to break that relationship by being false with her pretending you have romantic feelings when you don't.
There’s nothing wrong with OP wanting to be the recipient of pleasure every now and then. It sounds like she’s generally the giver of pleasure in their relationship and she wants a turn to be the recipient.
Tbh I don't understand the comments here. Everyone seems to be downplaying her reaction. Yes I agree, she doesn't want you actually dead, but she was still very rude & disrespectful.
We all get stressed out, but it's our job to not let this out on our partners, especially not with hurtful/hateful language. She can apologize as much as she wants, but things that have been said cannot be unsaid anymore.
Heck you even get banned from social media & other on-line platforms when you say anything like that to strangers. Now imagine this is coming from someone you trust & love the most. I'd reconsider this relationship tbh. There are things that just shouldn't be said ever.
You cannot help your sister with a solid agreement from your grown up daughter. She obviously doesn’t agreed and why did you force her? Why don’t you offer your bedroom and you sleep on the couch? You are the one who want to help, and you WILL NEED TO SACRIFICE to what you wanted, not your daughter.
As for her car, you said it ‘your daughter car’. It belongs to her and she has a choice how she want to use it. And again, why did you lie and why you asked her and why didn’t you upgrade your car? Again, you wanted to help your sister and nephew, you cannot help using others people expense, even that is your daughter.
Your daughter isn’t your solution to help your sister. You are if you wanted to help.