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Also saying he won't masturbate, which would effectively sold the problem, is not “what any man would do” its manipulation. He's trying to make you take the blame for him treating you like shit.
I feel like I have been being unfair to myself by putting everyone else’s needs first
You have been unfair to yourself.
This is a big enough issue that you should pause your engagement or leave altogether. Please don't ignore it.
She is not doing it for those reasons tho
isn't that like driving someone somewhere and leaving them in the middle of nowhere…
“how do I get home?” “Should have thought about that before you came with me”
3) I call my guy the next day and tell him. I say it matter of factly as i myself have yet not processed whatever has happened, if it was something i should just let pass, if letting it come into my head more is a good decision. (He interpreted this as me being okay with the whole thing, he expressed that later) He is not okay with it, obviously, i know whatever happened is messed up and thats why i told him in the first place. Says he needs a couple of days, after that things seem to go back to normal, and me processing my trauma is kind of buried. (Note this was all 2.5 months ago). I’ve distanced myself from the girl. Then, 0.5 months after that, a huge confrontation takes place between me and her. I break down and tell her how bad it was for me, and the pressure when i was in a vulnerable state. Then she shows a side I’ve not seen before, responding in a very very defensive, gaslighty, vile language. Says it was her ex who wanted to try out a 3some and she complied because she is “in love” with him, that I could’ve done something, denies everything, says she would never put a girl in such a position. Taunts me while im breaking, saying “your guy can’t satisfy you thats why you came to us” (i didnt), I asked you so many times (she didn’t), any moment you let me know you were uncomfortable slightly she would’ve stopped (she. did. not.). When i ask her about trying to coax her ex into penetrating me, she pauses for a min and says “wow you really believe i was being serious”. So 2 months ago, after this confrontation, I finally get started with processing my trauma, and he supports me through it, which im grateful for (he said while doing so, he pushed the way he felt down to be there for me). But. One month ago, he says he cant do it anymore. And wont ever be able to be with me romantically even though he wants to. And that he is not going to try even a little bit because he “knows for sure how it is going to be”. Reason given : He believes that i had an idea of what i was getting myself into. Which is clearly kind of problematic. Even when he has seen how I’ve been struggling with it. He didn’t try to talk to me about this, just directly took a concrete decision and says its not a hasty decision because he had a whole month to think about it, but he made the decision under his version of the story, so it doesn’t make sense. (Couple days back he backed down on the his version of the story a little, but still no dent in his decision, he doesn’t give a reason) A month back he says he took the decision because of the latter part of the night, but now says it’s because of the game part.
Your life can be ruin with just even the accusations part
Choose the baby. He isn’t worth your time.
He can pay child support and be absentee.
I'm on team both of OP's parents suck.
Tl;dr. You need to leave.
Then you should at least have the empathy to understand why Op isn’t clearly seeing how her symptoms of Autism is why she has horrible social skills across the board.
I have ASD, but do not struggle socially, romantically, or career wise either. I’m no support needs/super high functioning on the spectrum with ADHD. Been diagnosed since 1995.
And no, unless you have no support needs like me, a person on the spectrum will NOT be aware of what they are doing wrong socially unless someone sits them to talk to them why they are doing things that are hurtful.
No one clearly had said anything and from the look of things she has no friends, which means due to her ASD she struggles to maintain any connections because she doesn’t know how to period. She doesn’t understand nuances, sarcasm, non-verbal communication. This is why she doesn’t realize what is going on.
It's his body so if he doesn't want to undergo surgery then that's his choice. But I would advise him to discuss it with a medical professional since I doubt not doing anything doesn't have lasting effects, (including increase risk of std and loss of sensation). Beyond that, you can't make your boyfriend get surgery on his penis if he doesn't want to.