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You’re going to need to propose on a different trip and italy is pretty much off the table. I’d suggest a cruise involving Barcelona, or maybe a pacific island like hawaii. Most likely she specifically wants to be with someone (like mitch and nora) to see it happen and make it about her… It doesn’t have to be more expensive but it will have to be special in some way she can think she one-upped her sister. Or you’re better off not marrying because a lifetime with someone that resents how you proposed isn’t something you want.
Even at this early stage this relationship has all the flags for a huge headache. Say he chooses you… she will have drama after drama that pulls him away from you and you'll always wonder is he cheating?
Make the decision for him and bow out with dignity. But, the most important bit of this is to prepare yourself when he comes calling again because his “friend” just likes having an adoring puppy around but not enough to be in a relationship with it.
She doesn't want you dead. That's being a bit dramatic. It's room with two overly stressed people acting overly stressed. What she said was harsh and rude, but she wasn't being literal. I wouldn't run away over something this fixable.